Children of the Snow
by Phedoria
Summary: Sura, a female Khajiit, has lived most of her life in Whiterun. She has no memories of her childhood. She loves a Nord and as their love is about to blossom, a tragic event shatters her innocence. J'Ziir, a male Khajiit, hates Skyrim and its people. His only purpose is to find the man who ruined his life and get his revenge. Rated M for some violence and future lemons.
1. Chapter 1: Night of the Auroras

**This is my first story. English is not my native language so I apologize for all the errors and mistakes. I don't own Skyrim, Bethesda does. I only own my characters, Sura and J'Ziir. This might start out a little slow...but patience is a virtue :). All rewies are much appreciated. **

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**1. Night of the auroras**

As the northern lights blazed in the night sky in all the colors of green, blue and red and the city and most of its people were fast asleep, she was afraid to close her eyes. What she could not remember with her waking eyes always came to her in her dreams. The horror, the sadness, the shock. And finally - the loneliness.

So she preferred not to sleep. She wanted to stay awake as long as she could.

In these lonely, silent nights, she tried to keep her mind on other things, but mostly she just wandered around the empty halls of the Dragonsreach. The guards didn't pay much attention to her, most of them just nodded politely as she passed by. Silently she walked down the stairs, then paused to looked around. The large wooden hall was now empty. It felt strange. During the days the longhouse was usually filled with people.

There was Irileth - who rarely smiled - standing next to the Jarl, keeping him safe from all the possible threats. The Dunmer took her job very seriously and she always checked every visitor personally, whether they were farmers outside of the city, or some noble Thane from Solitude, bringing regards from the Empire and Jarl Elisif the Fair. Irileth never let her guard down.

And to this day, Irileth still had suspicions about her.

Even though she had been living in Dragonsreach for years now, she could feel Irileth's red eyes upon her whenever she approached the Jarl or even said few words to him. But she couldn't really blame her. Many people in Skyrim considered the Khajiit sneaking thieves and Skooma-addicts, unreliable creatures with lots of problems. If this wasn't Whiterun, she wouldn't be allowed inside the city walls.

But Jarl Balgruuf the Greater was a noble man. He was also one the most stubborn Nords she had ever known. His word was the law and when he decided something, no one was able to change his mind. Still he always smiled at her, always asked how she was doing no matter how busy he was. Even when he was in the middle of a heated discussion with his steward, Proventus Avenicci, he usually had time to greet her and give her a warm, delightful smile.

The large hall was silent, she guessed that even Irileth had gone to bed at some time of the night. Her steps were quiet and muffled as she moved across the floor. For a moment she stopped next to the big fireplace, which still had glowing embers of burned wood. The hundreds of fires that were burned in this pit had left their exceptional marks on the hall. Most recognizable was the rather comforting and cozy smell of the smoke that had embedded itself in the wooden walls and beams. Many people who lived inside the Dragonsreach didn't seem to notice it anymore, they were too accustomed to it. But she could always smell it and never grow tired of it.

It was the smell of home. The warmth surrounded her and like so many times before, she felt safe and happy here. No danger could reach her inside these sturdy walls.

She started to feel drowsy so she moved away from the fireplace. She plinked her eyes couple of times and walked slowly to the small side room which was filled with soul gems, alchemy books and other magical items. It was Farengar's workroom and his laboratory. She was always welcome here as well. She remembered that Farengar Secret-Fire was indeed one the first people that had made her feel like home inside this strange, huge fort. He didn't look at her like a little, weird, wild animal, instead he had kneeled before her and smiled.

Since that day she had been his apprentice. She knew much of what he did and he always explained things to her. He was never too busy to tell about his newest potions or spells. But he also questioned her and corrected her mistakes. He wanted her to know and remember all the different spells and their consequences. He always reminded her that with magical powers came also the responsibility to know how and when to use them. And under no circumstances did he allow her to hurt innocent people. That's why he had never agreed to teach her destruction spells.

She sat in his work chair and leaned against his table. Her head felt heavy and she had trouble keeping her eyes open now. It could be so easy to just close her eyes and let the dreams take over, but fear kept her awake. She resisted. And somehow she knew that the nightmares were connected with her lost childhood.

She wasn't born here, she knew that. And even though the Jarl treated her like one his own daughters, she knew her origins were somewhere else. So many times she had tried to remember, force herself to remember, but the black, thick veil that covered her mind and her memories could not be lifted so easily. Only in the night, during her deepest sleep, she was able to see.

To remember.

But as soon as she opened her eyes, everything was covered in darkness again. And all she felt was painful emptiness and longing. They all told her - the Jarl, Farengar, even Lydia - that she didn't need to remember. Because this was her home. She would always be welcomed here. She would always have friends and family here.

But she wasn't a Nord and she wished to find out where she had come from. She wanted to find her real family, if she still had any family left. The Jarl saw her desperation and sent some couriers to different holds of the land to ask around about her possible background, but again and again they all returned without anything new to tell. And after the third courier came back from Solitude as empty handed as the others, she learned not to wait for their return.

Lydia had asked around outside the city, from the traveling Khajiit caravans. She even offered them a remarkably high reward and the Jarl had declared that if anyone was able to give him some information, that caravan would be welcomed inside the city walls.

By then, she had asked him to stop. She didn't want him to spend his valuable time or the wealth that was meant for the citizens of Whiterun on her.

- But you are one of my citizens, he said and his voice had been filled with determination. - And it is my duty to make sure that all who reside in Whiterun are well taken care of, content and happy.

She had felt Irileth's stern gaze upon her and she knew the Dunmer didn't approve the Jarls affection towards her. Even now, she always tried to avoid her. Irileth had accused her of sneaking around the palace like a stalking predator and she indeed tried to stick to the shadows and be quiet and unnoticeable. But she could have never hurt the Jarl.

He was the only father she could remember.

While all these thoughts buzzed around in her tired head, while she tried and tried to understand and remember, she didn't hear soft steps behind her. When a warm hand touched her shoulder, she was startled. Her heart began beating, her ears flattened back against her head and she automatically drew her tail under the chair to avoid instant injury.

- Why are you still awake, Sura? Farengar stood next to her. His voice was concerned and irritated at the same time.

- I can't sleep, Sura answered and lowered her head. She felt a little guilty, like she was caught red handed doing something illegal. But it was no lie, she literally couldn't sleep.

- Oh, you mean you don't want to sleep, he sighed and crossed his arms. He was wearing his dark blue wizard cloak and in the shadow of his hood, his face looked scary and intimidating.

She nodded but didn't look up at him. His silent disappointment was unbearable. He needed her help tomorrow for some of his new experiments. She knew little of his current work, but the magic he had been working on seemed very dangerous and volatile. And if she wasn't up to the task, if she wasn't sharp and well rested, if her memory didn't work like it usually did, she would not just disappoint him but put all of the other people around them at risk.

He shook his head and she saw some of the frustration melt out of from his eyes. He sighed and walked to one of his cabinets, the ones he always kept locked.

The storage for his most dangerous ingredients.

He went through some of the bottles, read carefully every marking and label and finally took out a small, blue vial. He open the cork and poured a small amount in a silver goblet.

- This is very powerful, he said and placed the goblet in the table in front of her. - But it will make sure that you sleep without dreams. This is the maximum amount you can take. If you drink more, you will die. So never, ever try to take it on your own. No matter how desperate the situation is. Do you understand?

She nodded and reached out for the goblet. It trembled in her hand, she hadn't known he had such strong potions in his possessions. But of course, since he was the court wizard, he had to be prepared for everything.

- This is no potion, he said. She looked at him bewildered. It was like he had heard her thoughts. - It is poison. It will overpower your brain. Cripple them, so they can't come up with any thoughts, memories or illusions. It will also paralyze your body.

Now she was more scared of him than her nightly terrors. The goblet trembled against her lips and the sweet, empowering smell of the drink made her head spin.

- Don't be afraid, he smiled when he saw her hesitation. - I'm not going to poison you. I only wish you to have a good night's rest and calm sleep. Now, be a good girl and drink it. And then go to bed. Its effect is quite sudden.

She looked into his eyes and saw no sign of lies. With one quick sip she swallowed the liquid, placed the goblet back to the table and stood up. Farengar nodded, smiled and gently patted her on the head.

She told him good night, turned around and walked to her small bedroom. Since she usually worked in the alchemy laboratory with Farengar, the wizard and the Jarl had both ultimately agreed that it would be better if her room was near the laboratory. So Farengar's bookshelves and his massive work table had been moved and she had been sleeping in this small side room for years now.

It was a good arrangement and she liked her room. Although she didn't have much, the Jarl had demanded that her room would be decorated as she saw fit. A small corner table with fresh flowers, she always picked her favorite flowers - the lavenders. Few candles and wall scones, little wardrobe with couple of dresses and a tiny chest for the her most important, personal things.

She changed her dress to a comfortable night wear and lay upon her bed and covered herself with warm, woolly plankets. As the darkness started to creep over and her vision began to blur, she realized in her foggy mind that there actually was one thing she could remember from her earlier dreams.

A growl - soft and gentle and low, not scary but comforting. And rough patch of black fur under her small fingers.


	2. Chapter 2: As tough as Steel

**Still going a slow but I want to explain her background a bit and her relationship with the people of Whiterun. I don't own Skyrim, Bethesda does. I only own my characters, Sura and J'Ziir. And as always, I apologize in advance for all the possible grammar errors and other mistakes. Thanks for reading :). **

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**2. As tough as steel**

The day was as sunny and bright as it could be. The warm winds of the early spring swept over Whiterun and everyone seemed to be in a happy, joyful mood. Even the guards sometimes took off their suffocating helmets and raised the faces towards the light, eyes closed and a careful smile on their faces.

Sura looked over the city. She was at the Skyforge and her blue, bright eyes smiled when a flock of chirping birds flew right over the Jorrvaskr. From the birds her gaze moved down to the training area and she could see some of the Companions down in the yard, talking, laughing and testing their weapons and skills.

- Girl! Eorlund Gray-Mane, Skyforge's blacksmith interrupted her thoughts. - Did you come here to work or to have fun? This steel is still not as thin as I want it to be.

- I'm sorry, Sura turned back to him and her warm smile melted some of the hardness from his face. - But it's such a beautiful spring day. Did you see those birds, Eorlund?

- The Companions need their weapons, he grunted. - I don't have time to watch birds. And neither do you. Keep forging, that sword still needs much work.

She smiled but did as she was told and kept shaping the hot steel with her hammer. She liked the physical work at the forge. But to this day she hadn't managed to make a sword or a shield that Eorlund would find completely satisfying. There always seemed to be something wrong, some crack or defect that he would notice. And he was always right. The swords she made and tested, broke easily in the use of experienced warriors and the shield shattered way too soon under the huge pressure or war hammers and axes.

But still she kept going, kept trying to satisfy him. Like the court wizard Farengar, the Skyforge's smith Eorlund Gray-Mane was hard to please and demanded perfection. And still both of these men were willing to teach her. When she wasn't learning magic and enchanting from Farengar, she spent her days in Skyforge listening and looking as the best smith in all of Skyrim showed her what he did and how he did it.

Eorlund Gray-Mane was proud of his work and he wasn't afraid to show it. But he was also very stiff and stern and didn't allow fooling around. The Skyforge was a dangerous place with the hot, boiling forge and filled with sharp steel weapons. He mostly nagged and complained to her, that he shouldn't let her to come to the Skyforge or waste his time teaching her, because she wasn't able to make anything decent. All she did was waste his precious materials.

Sura just smiled at his words. She knew it was part of his nature. Eorlund had never asked her to pay anything and he always had some steel ingots in storage if she wanted to try something other than swords or daggers. She cared for him like an uncle and she would always remember the first time she saw the big, muscular man at his forge, long before his hair and beard had turned grey.

She relived the memory, and for a moment saw him like he was back then, agile and strong, quick and professional. He had perfected his skills, he never made a single useless move and his rough hands - which were filled with calluses - caressed the steel softly and gently like it was his lover.

- Fantasizing again? Eorlund saw her looking at him and stood up from the grindstone where he had been sharpening a thin bladed steel sword.

He lifted it up to his eye-height, looked down the blade to see if it was curved or contorted. He touched the edge of the blade carefully, brought his thump over it and the softest, slightest touch drew drops of blood from his finger. Satisfied at his work, he smiled.

Then he turned and handed the sword to her.

- This is what I want you to accomplish, he said and now his voice was softer, deeper and gentler. As she took it, she couldn't but marvel the lightness of the blade and the force of the weapon. It felt like it pulsated in her arms, like it had the mind of its own, ready to strike down anyone who would dare to threaten her.

- Take it to him, Eorlund commanded.

- Him? Sura blinked her eyes. _He couldn't possibly mean..._

- You know very well who's sword that is, Eorlund grunted. - He's down in the training yard. I promised to have it done by today. And take the rest of the afternoon off. I need to clean this made you made.

- Are you kicking me out? Sura was astonished.

That was extremely strange. Eorlund never cut the days short and sometimes he even kept her at the forge late until the evening.

- For the afternoon, I am, Eorlund nodded. - Now get going.

As she walked down the stone stair of the Skyforge, the older man looked after her. He had given her the sword for a reason. The cat and mouse play in Jorrvaskr's hallways had been going on for far too long. Years, in fact. He wasn't about to play the goddess of love, but he wanted to give them the opportunities he could. Because it seemed, that if things were up to those too - the shy little cat girl and the smart but way too honorable warrior - nothing would happen, until they were both old and grey and ready to fall into their graves. He chuckled to himself and grabbed the sword she had been working on. _Well_, he thought and was quite impressed by her work. _Maybe she isn't as hopeless as I imagined._

Sura was nervous. She was always nervous when she had to deal with _him_. Never mind what it was about, his closeness made her uncomfortable.

What caused her nervousness were mainly his eyes. They were grey and seemed cold and unfeeling, but she had seen a flash of fire and passion underneath his carefully constructed shell. His eyes were the most spectacular part of him. She mostly shied away from his gaze but when he wasn't looking, she could stare at him for hours.

Now she stood the sword in her hands, grasping it so hard that she felt her own claws dig in to her palms. She bit her lower lip, frowned and reminded herself that this was nothing compared to her nightmares. _Why are you so nervous?_ She drew a deep breath and walked slowly to the training yard where the two brothers were clashing their swords. She stopped on her tracks when she noticed that neither of them had any cover or armor over their upper bodies.

She could smell their sweat and hear their panting. The sun had drifted behind the thick clouds and a cold wind swept across the yard. The two men didn't seem to notice the change in the weather. And neither did she. She was only wearing her blacksmiths apron and a thin, woolly dress. Her fur kept her warm, but she suddenly felt shivers running down her spine. She wasn't trembling because of the cold. As she looked at them - _at him _- a strange warmness spread throughout her body. Her heart began to beat faster and she didn't notice how her tail moved nervously from left to right, again and again.

For a moment, it looked like the taller, stronger, bulkier man was winning. He laughed at his brother and the sound echoed throughout the yard. It was deep and warm and filled with affection. He swung his sword around, took few steps towards the other man and charged forward. But where he was incredibly strong and powerful, his brother was quick and agile. All he had to do was take one misleading step and the charging bear lost his balance. At the last moment he tried to correct his move, but it was already too late. He crashed into the ground, his sword flew away from him and he was too tired to get up and continue the battle. His brother walked to him, reached out his arm and pulled him on his feet.

- You need to think before you charge, Farkas, he said to his brother.

- You know me, Vilkas, Farkas laughed. - I never use my brain while in a fight.

- And that's why you can never beat me, Vilkas smiled, shook his head, walked to the stone wall that circled the yard, grabbed a soft cloth from one of the training dolls and wiped the sweat from his forehead and chest. Only then he saw the girl standing across the yard, squeezing a huge sword in her hands.

Farkas said something to him, but he couldn't hear what he was saying. His blood still ran high because of the battle but _her _presence exited him in a different way. Farkas' voice didn't reach his ears, all he could see was the girl.

Her fur was as white as the first winter snow in the mountains. Only few dark stripes dotted it - two in the tail and one above her right ear. He wanted to follow the stripes with his finger, trace them and find out how far those markings continued and were they just random curves and whirls or did they form any noticeable pattern. But it was her eyes that always drew his attention. They were the brightest of the blue, like the blazing northern lights in the darkest time of the night. Like the turquoise mountain streams that poured down to the valleys. Like the sky high above Skyrim, they were wild and untamed.

Farkas noticed that his brother wasn't listening to him. He followed his gaze and as he saw the girl, a knowing smile rose on his face.

- Hey, kitty cat! he yelled at her and waved his hand. - What do you intend to do with that big sword? Have you finally come to cut my poor brother's heart out and claim it for yourself?

Sura flustered and Vilkas nudged his brother with his elbow. Farkas just laughed, he never stopped teasing her and he always called her a "kitty cat". But when it came from his mouth, it was a pet name, not an insult. There was nothing offensive in the way he said it and she quite liked the name.

She forced her feet to move and walked up to them. Without a word she handed the sword to Vilkas. She didn't raise her eyes to look at him.

- From Eorlund, she finally managed to murmur. - Your new sword.

- Looks sturdy, Farkas said and before Vilkas had the chance to even hold the it, Farkas grabbed it from Sura and smiled to his brother. - Let me test it out for you.

And with that, he was gone and they were suddenly alone.

An awkward silence fell between them, neither of them knew what to say. Sura was looking down at her own feet, and she didn't notice how the man beside her devoured her with his eyes. She smelled his skin and felt the warmth that was radiating from his bare chest. If she would just lean little closer, she could almost touch him.

By the Gods, why was this woman so close to him and still so far away? He had watched her as the years passed by, as she grew from a little lost girl to an astonishingly beautiful woman. And then she started to work in Skyforge with Eorlund - which was unheard of, Eorlund never took an apprentice, and still there she was, day after day, from early morning until late in the evening. So close to him that he could smell her, the faint scent of lavender and tundra cottons. Whenever she was there, he couldn't really concentrate on anything so he usually kept to himself, delved into books or went to an occasional mission or two. He went anywhere, did anything so he could avoid her intoxicating, torturous presence.

But suddenly she was here, right next to him.

Sura felt him shift on his feet and all of a sudden she was afraid that he would leave. She quickly raised her eyes to look at him, to ask him not to go. But he wasn't going. He was still there and now her eyes locked into his. She had never seen them so close. The dark war paint made his grey gaze deeper and more intensive. _Why is he looking at me like that?_ Sura thought in her hazy mind. _So soft and gently._ _His eyes are so grey, like the steel of Skyforge. This man is made of steel, he is as though as steel. Can the warm fire of the forge melt him? _

He raised his hand, he needed to touch her. He could have dived into those beautiful, blue eyes and die happily in their deep, warm ponds. His finger brushed her cheek ever so softly and she murmured something he couldn't quite grasp and closed her eyes.

Was this a dream? His imagination? Did she really answered to his touch? Did she sigh and lean closer? He turned to face her and the only thing he wanted now was to hold her. He caressed her jaw line, lifted her head with his finger and lowered his head to kiss her.


	3. Chapter 3: What it could have been

**I always felt that Lydia is kind of rootless and she doesn't have her own personality. So I wanted to give her some background too. More on that in the next chapter. And the Companions were also always too stiff and serious, so I thought that little humor doesn't hurt. I don't own Skyrim, Bethesda does. And again, sorry for the possible mistakes and errors. And thanks for reading :).**

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**3. What it could have been...**

They were all gathered in front of two, large windows. Farkas, Aela and Skjor in the other one, Ria, Njada and Athis in front of the other. Even Vignar had pushed himself between Farkas and Aela when he heard what was going on. When he had seen Sura and Vilkas out in the yard, he had growled something about young people and their weird courtship rituals that lasted years on end. In his youth those two would have been married long ago.

They all watched silently as the two slowly moved closer to each other, the cat and the wolf. The girl and the man.

- Finally, something is happening, Aela said. - They have been dancing around each other long enough.

- Nothing is going to happen, Torvar claimed from the other side of the hall. He was calmly sitting in the huge table, eating horker meat and drinking mead. The others turned to look at him.

- Something is happening, Farkas grinned. - You are just grumpy because this time you really have to pay up.

- I know women better than anyone else in here, Torvar slurped his drink. - She is going to turn away at the last moment, play coy or blush all over. Then, she is going to torture him by turning her back at him and walking away swaying her hips as she goes.

- Oh, oh, look, Aela's voice heightened. - His touching her cheek.

- Pay up, Torvar! Skjor exclaimed. - This is more progress that we have seen in years.

- What does the book say? Torvar asked him. - Only when they kiss, right. That's when I'll pay. Not a moment sooner.

- He is going to kiss her at any moment, Ria rejoiced. - Nothing can spoil this now! They look so perfect for each other. I wish I could find such a pure, overpowering love some day.

- Here, why don't you and I try to find some love downstairs? Torvar suggested to her. She simply ignored him, not bothering to even look at him.

- Finally! Aela laughed when Vilkas lowered his head. She turned her head towards Torvar and her eyes gleamed dangerously. - You better have my money ready or else...

- Wait! Who's that? Farkas frowned and they all extended their necks too see better.

- What's happening? Ria exclaimed.

- Lydia! What is she doing there? Aela huffed.

The gentle moment between Vilkas and Sura was interrupted by the Sword-Maiden Lydia. She stood there for a moment and then spun around. And without explanation Sura tore herself away from Vilkas and sprinted after her.

When Torvar saw the lovers pull away from each other, he chuckled, smiled to the others and could feel their irritation filling the air.

- What did I say? Now pay up! I have an important meeting at the Bannered Mare.

- Yeah, with some barrels of mead, right? Njada grunted.

- Wrong! I'm heading there to meet a beautiful woman, more heavenly than anyone in here, Torvar grinned and gathered a huge amount of gold coins from the others. He squeezed his hand around his purse and whistled happily as he almost danced out of the door.

- Well, they did almost...kiss, Ria sighed. - Guess we just have to wait a little longer.

- How come he is so brave in the battle but such a sissy when it comes to women? Aela wondered and stared at Farkas. - You need to beat some sense into him.

- I never win, Farkas said. - But why don't you give it a go? You used to beat us up when we were just whelps.

- I might just have to do that, Aela looked at Vilkas when he entered the mead hall only moments later.

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Lydia was confused and embarrassed. She had been looking for Sura, first from the Market, where she ran into Arcadia. She had asked her to deliver a message to Sura. Something about new ingredients that she needed. Sura often headed to the plains of Whiterun to get some flowers, mushrooms and insects for Arcadia. And almost always Lydia went with her. To protect her and to talk with her.

She looked for her in the Dragonsreach and the court wizard Farengar told her to head towards the Skyforge. She could tell that Farengar was not all that pleased to have her wizard apprentice work with the rough and stern smith but he didn't really have any reason to stop her either.

So she headed to the Skyforge. From the bottom of the stone stairs she could hear the steady pounding of a hammer on a steel and she assumed Sura was working hard to keep Eorlund Grey-Mane satisfied. But when she reached the top, all she could see was the old smith looking at her angrily and annoyed. The man sure was famous and not just for his work. He was also know far and wide for his bad temper and not so friendly remarks. So Lydia didn't prolong her stay, she only wanted to know where her friend was. The old smith didn't answer nor did he interrupt what he was doing. He only nodded towards the mead hall of Jorrvaskr.

She sprinted down the stairs and headed for the training yard expecting to see Companions with their swords and bows and arrows. They were the pride of Whiterun, the toughest, fearless, most honorable warriors in Skyrim. Even Jarl Balgruuf respected them. Their Harbinger, Kodlak Whitemane, sometimes came up to the Dragonsreach. The Jarl and the Harbinger could discuss and debate for hours on end.

There was no one in the yard except a man and a Khajiit. What she saw was so unexpected, that she stopped on her tracks and looked around to find someone to confirm that this was indeed the reality and not some weird mirage or an illusion.

The couple were leaning towards each other, almost embracing, almost kissing. She could feel the emotions that flashed between them. Years of longing, yearning, pining. Shyness and insecurity from her, great gentleness and reassurance from him. It was something powerful and tangible. Something that she had never experienced herself, something she didn't know existed.

In Skyrim, love wasn't in high demand.

She startled herself by uttering a single soft cry. She didn't mean to disturb them but as soon as she made her presence known, the moment changed from romantic to incredibly awkward. She felt his angry eyes upon her and without saying a word she turned around and walked swiftly out of the training yard. She heard hurried steps behind her but managed to get to the Gildergreen, in the center of the Wind District when Sura caught up with her.

- I'm really sorry, Lydia turned to face her friend. - I didn't mean to disturb...

- It's alright, Sura smiled to her and waved her hand. - It wasn't something that was meant to happen anyway.

Just caught up in the moment, Sura thought and felt herself a bit sad. He was probably thinking about someone else and the heat from the battle with Farkas just got his blood flowing. He's a Nord, I'm a Khajiit. There is no way that a proud warrior like him would find a mere cat like me attractive. And still, she thought. Even if he was thinking about someone else, even if there was some beautiful Nord woman in his heart, she was happy that for a short moment, she had been so close to him. Just once. That had to be enough. No need to wish for anything more.

Lydia searched her friends face, saw sadness and acceptance in her eyes. She wasn't sure what she had seen or felt between Sura and Vilkas, but it sure wasn't anything empty or tame. Sura smiled to her and she understood that her friend was ready to forget the whole incident. And if Sura didn't want to talk about it, she wouldn't force her to do so.

- Did you have something to say to me? Sura asked as they headed towards the Market.

- Oh yes, Lydia laughed. - I almost forgot. Arcadia asked you to stop by, something about new ingredients and some extraordinary potion she was making. And I also talked to Adrianne. Your leather armor with the pants and the cuirass is ready.

- Well, let's stop by at Arcadia's at first and if she needs me to bring something from the plains, I can also test out the new armor, Sura said. - Not that I need it. You are always there to make sure I'm safe.

They laughed together as they crossed the Market. Almost instinctively they both stopped at Fralia's jewelry stand and wondered the beautiful silver necklaces and rings. They never had the money to buy such luxuries but sometimes Fralia allowed them to try them on. Lydia always thought that the sparkling sapphire necklace was perfect for Sura because it matched her gorgeous eyes so well. Fralia agreed and promised to keep the sapphire necklace safe until she was able to buy it herself.

Sura just laughed at Lydia's words. She did like the necklace but she usually wore her gold pendant. She often wondered, where it was from and who had given it to her. The pendant, shaped like the crescent moon, had been with her as long as she could remember. It felt comfortable around her neck and she refused to take it off for more than few seconds. Without it, she felt naked and unprotected. She also thought it was the last clue she had of her lost childhood. If she would lose it, even the slightest hope would be gone. So she guarded and protected it, always making sure she didn't drop or misplace it.

After a moment they said their goodbyes to Fralia and continued to the alchemy shop. Arcadia's Cauldron was a cozy and comfortable place. It was more like a home than a shop. The owner kept the place clean and always greeted her customers with a smile on her face. She had many ingredients in the front desk and the back shelves were covered with vials and bottles of different shapes and sizes. When she wasn't at the desk, she usually spent her time in the backroom, in her alchemy laboratory.

- Oh, Sura and Lydia, Arcadia greeted. - Nice to see you both.

- Lydia mentioned you need some new ingredients from the plains, Sura looked around. - But it seems your storages are quite full. What do you need?

- I'm sorry to bother you with such a small errand, Arcadia looked genuinely regretful. - You see, I have this new potion I'm trying to make. I got the recipe from Solitude only late last night but it contains at least twenty different items. I have some of them here but I'm missing the most. I would go and get them myself but I can't afford to close the shop in the middle of the day and well...you both know how dangerous it's out there after dark.

- Don't worry, Sura calmed her. - We'll get them for you.

- Thank you so much, Arcadia smiled. - Okay, I need...

Lydia shook her head and once again marveled Sura's memory. The Khajiit didn't know how to read or write but she didn't need a list to remember Arcadia's ingredients. The Imperial woman listed at least ten different flowers and insects and by the time they made their way towards the Warmaiden's, Lydia has already forgotten most of them. But she knew Sura wouldn't forget. Her memory was unmatched, she could remember everything else - except her childhood.

Adrianne was out at her forge when they approached her. She was a blond Nord woman, strong and proud and she rarely smiled. She was always obsessed with swords and axes, made new ones and tried hard to perfect her skills. Lydia had heard that Adrianne's husband, Ulfberth War-Bear, sometimes complained about his wives great interest in weapons and amours. It was apparent that he didn't get enough attention in the bedroom. But despite that Adrianne and Ulfberth were one of the happiest couples in Whiterun and their affection towards each other was in evident, and everyone could see it. To Ulfberth, Adrianne was his little war maiden.

She greeted them rather warmly and was glad to take break from her work. She told them come inside and offered Sura some privacy in the backroom while she tried her new leather armor on.

The armor was surprisingly light and easy to wear. She could flex herself and bend down without any difficulties. The armor was dark brown and the leather was molded soft and resilient. Adrianne had even considered her tail. She had left out a whole in the back of the cuirass and the trousers. The boots that went along with the armor were also very comfortable. They didn't scratch or chafe her legs and the armor felt like her second skin.

She paid gladly the agreed amount of gold. Adrianne promised that if she ever needed her armor repaired or refitted, she would do it at a fair price. Now ready to go, they walked out the door and it was like the spring had suddenly returned. The sun was once again shinning upon them and the cold wind was but a distant memory.


	4. Chapter 4: More than a duty

**Some girl talk in this one, explaining a little their situation and their friendship. And what they both want from their lives. Thanks for reading and sorry for the possible mistakes again :). Enjoy.  
**

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**4. More than a duty**

As they walked pasted the main gate and towards the Whiterun stables, Sura glanced at her friend. There was something bothering Lydia, she could feel it but she didn't exactly know how to start questioning her. As they passed the stables, she finally opened her mouth.

- So, I hear things are nearly settled between you and Hadvar, she started and Lydia sighed heavily. - What's wrong?

- Nothing, she said. - I'm perfectly content.

- You don't want to marry Hadvar? Sura inquired.

- It's not him, Lydia said and looked at Sura when she bent down to pick some white tundra cottons in her basket. - I'm sure he will make a perfect husband. After all, he is kind and patient and handsome and...and...boring, Lydia yawned.

- How can he be boring? Sura scanned their surroundings and headed towards a large tree stump to pick up some Mora Tapinella mushrooms. - He's a soldier after all. And a Nord.

- Yes, he is, Lydia nodded. - But since he is so stubborn and honorable, he wishes me to stay at our house in Solitude. Taking care of the place, cooking for him, cleaning, looking after the kids. That sort of thing...

- But if you wish to experience adventures, can't you join the Legion yourself? Sura suggested. - Surely he doesn't want you to just remain in Solitude. He knows that there are many women in the legion, even Legate Rikke is a woman. And she is high above him.

The idea that Lydia would move to Solitude after her marriage pained Sura's heart. She was sorry to see her friend go. In Whiterun, Lydia was basically the only one who accompanied her to the plains, who she could talk and laugh with. Lydia was practically the older sister she never had.

- Oh no, Lydia shook her head. - He told me that he doesn't wish his wife to see the horrors and the gore of the battlefields. And guess what that means? I am to become a boring housewife.

Sura couldn't help but laugh at the image. Lydia rarely wore anything other than her steal armor and the idea of her in a fancy dress and her hair braided neatly down her back made Sura giggle.

- Is this really why I trained for years? Why did I learn to fight? I should I have learned to cook and knit instead, Lydia sat down on a small rock. She admired the city from afar and already felt a little homesick.

- So, when are you two heading towards Riften? Sura sat down beside her. She had gathered most of Arcadia's ingredients, few were still missing. But the afternoon was beautiful and warm and she felt like they didn't have to rush. Her friend needed to talk and she needed to listen.

- I don't know exactly, Lydia looked in the distance. - It seems that things are now quite flammable in the battlefield. The last time I heard from Hadvar, he was somewhere near the Darkwater Crossing, he said that there was bound the be some Stormcloack activity. But that was some time ago. I really don't know where he is now.

- I'm sure he is fine, Sura said when she sensed worry in Lydia's voice.

- Yes, I do care for him, Lydia confessed and looked at her. - If that's what you want to know. And when the time comes and Hadvar and I marry, you will accompany me to Riften and attend my wedding, won't you?

- Of course, Sura smiled. - Wouldn't have it any other way.

Her smile seemed to calm her friend and they sat quietly for a moment, only listening to the distant voices of the city.

- Speaking of marriage, Lydia finally turned to her and grinned. - I heard that you are not very far from Mara's blessings yourself.

- What? Sura asked and Lydia could clearly hear panic in her voice.

- You haven't heard? Lydia was astonished at her friends ignorance. - The Jarl has received at least two proposals concerning you. It seems that men in Whiterun look at you rather...favorably, she giggled.

- No, I haven't heard, Sura said and her heart skipped a beat. - Do you happen to know who these men are? _If he has asked for me...?_

- Yes, I do know, Lydia nodded. - The other is our own local store manager, Belethor. I have no doubt that he has heard of your incredible memory and wishes to benefit from it. After all, he wouldn't need to write anything down anymore, you would be his personal account book.

Sura smiled and found it hard to believe. He often visited Belethor's General Goods but never had she suspected that the owner would be interested in her. Other than as a customer, of course.

- And the other one? she could hardly breath. _Could it be him?_

- Idolaf, Lydia told her. - Battle-Born. If you were to choose between those two, I would recommend the latter. He is quite handsome and I'm sure he could offer you a good home and a good life. His family is wealthy and they support the Empire. You could even coax him to move to Solitude, so you and I wouldn't have to be separated.

Sura sighed and felt incredibly disappointed. What had she expected? Vilkas was above all the other men in Whiterun. And would it really be possible for him to marry. He had pledged his life to the Companions, after all. She could only image that the woman he would one day choose, should be strong and proud and match his power and brains in every way. To be equal with him.

She raised her eyes, blinked the tears away and looked at the mighty city in the center of the plains. Her voice was weaker and tenuous when she talked again.

- Don't you wish to find love? she asked Lydia. - The person you marry and spend your life with, shouldn't you be able to love him? Is respect really enough?

- Love? Lydia asked, and in an instant she could remember the gentle moment she has witnessed in the Jorrvaskr training yard. Was that love? she thought. Was it really love she had seen?

- Yes, we worship Goddess Mara as one of our divines, Sura continued. - Why do we still so rarely search for blessings? Why do we settle for someone who we only find moderately pleasing? If you do not love Hadvar, if you see him only as a childhood friend, shouldn't you wait a little longer?

- So, I take it you are not going to marry neither one of them, Lydia said. - That's what I thought. And that is alright. No one forces you to choose your mate. But things are different with me. I'm not some young maiden anymore and if I keep waiting for Mara's blessing, I might end up marrying some old, drunk innkeeper.

- But you want adventure, Sura sighed. - Why choose to marry if the only thing you can expect is a boring life as a housewife?

- I yearn adventure, I do, Lydia admitted. - But nobody is young forever. We grow older. I think it's better to marry now, have a steady home and a place to go, a place to belong to...

- But you already belong to Dragonsreach, Sura interrupted her. - The Jarl is your uncle! You always have a place there, no matter how many adventures you go to.

- True, Lydia nodded. - But the Dragonsreach is the Jarl's home. It's my father's home. And my father also wishes me to marry Hadvar, after all, he promised it to my mother before she died. And I think he worries about me. If he dies, then there is no one to take care of me. That's why he pushes us in this marriage so strongly.

- So, you marry Hadvar only because your father wishes it? Sura asked.

Lydia didn't reply, but they both knew that was ultimately true. Lydia was a rational woman, she listened to her head rather than her heart. But Sura was different. She wanted to let her feelings guide her. She believed that eventually her feelings would lead her to her real family. She was sure that she would recognize her family, her parents and sisters and brothers, if she one day would meet them. Her heart would recognize them, not her brain.

- Do we have all the ingredients? Lydia finally broke the silence.

- Almost, Sura nodded. - We best stay clear of the Giant camps, they might get nervous if we get too close. Arcadia still needs some glowing mushrooms and Bleeding Crown's but we can't find those from the plains. And she didn't want us to go in to the caves.

- She's right, you know, Lydia pulled out her sword and stroke the steel with her hand. - Two helpless women like us. How could we possibly defend ourselves?

- There are some dangerous creatures living in the caves, Sura grinned. - Spiders, bears, even saber cats. And wolves most definitely.

- Don't forget the trolls, Lydia added casually. - My sword would probably be too slow to beat down a troll but your destruction spell would burn one down to a crisp in moments.

Sura glanced at her and was amazed to hear that Lydia actually knew some of her most guarded secrets. Farengar would have skinned her alive if he knew that she had learned some destruction spells behind his back. All he wanted her to learn was calming and healing and clairvoyance.

- You are not as secretive as you think, my friend, Lydia nudged her and laughed.

- Apparently not, Sura admitted. _That secret I can allow you to know. _

- And I also know that you can actually conjure a flame atronach, Lydia continued and her eyes gleamed with amazement. - That's something not everyone can do.

- I wonder, how do you find out these things, Sura growled but Lydia could clearly see that she wasn't really angry.

- So, with your flame spell, my sword and with a possible flame atronach at our side, would you be interested to get those mushrooms for Arcadia? Lydia tempted.

- That might be the last adventure you and I can enjoy together, Sura smiled at her and stood up. - Let's go, Sword-Maiden. Lead us to our next destination.

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**It was hinted in the game that Hrongar was actually Lydia's father so I just followed that lead :).**


	5. Chapter 5: An unknown path

**So, something is finally starting to happen. Thanks for your patience and thanks for reading :). There are probably some mistakes again, sorry about them. **

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**5. An unknown path**

The first cave they came upon was a shallow, deep cut straight in to the mountain. They could still see Whiterun behind them, the Meadery and one of the watchtowers. So if things turned out bad, they could just run out and head towards the towers. At least they hoped so. Lydia pulled out her sword and placed her iron shield in front of her.

- Stay behind me, she said to Sura. - And if you need to use your spells, always warn me before, so I don't get caught in the crossfire.

- Understood, Sura nodded.

The deeper they entered, the darker it got. They could hear water running somewhere ahead, and they needed to watch their steps, the rocks were wet and slippery. The walls were covered with thick and moist moss and they stopped for a moment to gather some even though Arcadia hadn't asked them to bring any. But Sura figured she could use it with some of her own experiments.

After some time, the air suddenly got lighter and they could see better. They glanced at each other when they heard voices coming from deeper in the cave. As quiet as they could, they snuck forward and crouched behind a huge boulder that leaned over the ledge. In front of them the cave broadened, and they could see several people talking, drinking and laughing.

- Bandits, Lydia whispered. - There is no way we can take them all. And there are probably more of them deeper in the cave.

- What are they doing here? Sura wondered.

- Most of them are fugitives from the Imperial army and the Stormcloaks, Lydia explained. - My father told me that even when they join voluntarily, the strenuous training and the harsh conditions are hard to bear. So they turn and run. And with nowhere to go, they join forces and rob travelers and caravans, even kill and kidnap people.

- Should we head back? Sura murmured. - Like you said, there are too many for us.

- You're right, Lydia nodded. - Better not risk it.

They turned back and as they crept up the tunnel small rocks crackled under their feet and rolled down hill. Immediately the light chatter down in the cave ended and they glanced at each other, hearts pounding.

- Who's there? a stern voice called out. Sura heard the woman pulling her sword out. She came closer to investigate. She saw Lydia ready her weapon and grab her shield tighter in her hand. Lydia nodded to her and she understood that if things turned out for the worse, she would need all the help she could get.

She closed her eyes and like Farengar had thought her, she cleared her mind to summon the purest and the clearest energy in her body. She hadn't used the fire spell very often but she knew that it required much more energy and concentration than healing or clairvoyance.

- Hey! the woman yelled angrily as Lydia leapt out from her hiding place. She was as quick as a saber cat, she knew how to use her sword, and before anyone else could react, the bandit's head rolled to the ground. Lydia didn't notice the blood that spurted from the severed neck, not even when it splattered to her face.

In the dim light she looked scary and terrifying, her dark hair covered most of her face and her green eyes glinted with adrenaline. She let out a battle cry and jumped over the ledge in the middle of the bandit rabble. Without hesitation, she attacked and dodged, always keeping her eyes on the enemy and never turning her back to any of them.

Sura jumped to the rock and saw that her friend was surrounded by five or six men, she had already killed three by the time Sura managed to gather the energy she needed. She yelled out a warning, Lydia nodded and leaped out of the way as she unleashed an effective and destructive fire burst from her hands. It was so powerful that it almost overbalanced her. She was astonished at how terrifying weapon it was and in moments the men were engulfed by the flames. They were now screaming and crying as their skin and hair burned away. The smell of the burning flesh filled the air and Sura turned away from the horrible sight. Now she understood why Farengar never wanted her to learn destruction spells.

Silence fell in to the cave. The only sounds they could hear was the booming echo of the distant water and the simmering hiss of the fat from the scorched bodies. Lydia lowered her sword put she squeezed her shield in her other hand hoping that it would stop trembling. Nothing had prepared her for the powerful magic that her friend wielded. She looked up and saw Sura sitting on the rock but she looked just as shocked and confused as she was. She hid her hands behind her back. She wanted to make sure that she wouldn't accidentally hurt Lydia. Like she wasn't in control of the magic she possessed. Lydia walked up to her and took her hand into hers. She tried to calm her down with a smile and for a moment they stood there, just contemplating what they had done.

- Quite an adventure this turned out to be, Lydia finally said. - I'm glad you didn't conjure a flame atronach after all.

- Me too, Sura nodded and shook her head. - So, are we considered murderers now?

- They were bandits, Lydia said. - Fugitives and thieves. I'm quite sure no one will miss them.

- Well, we better not tell anyone about this, Sura said. - The Jarl will skin me and Farengar will gladly sleep on my fur for the rest of his days if he finds out about this.

- So true, Lydia laughed and was amazed to hear her own, happy voice. Am I really laughing? As she watched the burning men roll in their agony, she was sure no laughter would escape her lips ever again.

- Did you see any mushrooms? Sura asked as she jumped off the rock. It sounded incredibly stupid and an inappropriate question considering the situation, but she wanted to concentrate on something else. Anything that would lead her mind of the burned people laying on the ground. The people who had died by her hand.

- I thought I saw some near the back wall, Lydia pointed and as Sura ran to pick the mushrooms, Lydia searched the tables and the bookshelves and the chests that were scattered around the cave. - Damn it, she hissed as the biggest, wooden chest was locked.

- Here, let me try it, Sura offered, set her basket on the floor, pulled out a small knife and cranked the lock back and forth few times. A satisfying click made her smile and she could hardly believe her own audacity. Here she was, robbing the corpses of the people she had just killed.

- So, my Khajiit friend, Lydia grinned. - Now you even know how to pick locks.

She didn't answer because she didn't know how to defend herself. For years she had tried to convince Irileth to believe that she wasn't a thief or a murdered. And now, she ended up being both.

- We'll keep this between us, like we agreed, Lydia calmed her and helped her to open the chest. - Well, not much of a treasure, she sighed as they stared at a pile of dirty, worn clothes, old boots and fluffy hats. - Why did they even bothered to lock this?

- There could be something among them, Sura said and started to rummage through the clothes. Soon, a bright smile rose to her face as she felt something hard against her hand. Two small gemstones sparkled on her palm. They looked at them exited, then at each other and at the same time they both burst out laughing like little girls that shared some precious, important secret.

- You take the sapphire, Lydia breathed. - Blue goes better with your eyes.

- I knew you would say that, Sura nodded. - And I know you like emeralds anyway.

She gave the green stone to Lydia. She lifted it up against the light and looked thought it. - Let's keep these as memories. From this adventure. Years later, when I'm married and living in Solitude, all I need to do is look at this stone and it will remind me of our friendship.

Sura heard sadness in her voice and for the first time she understood clearly that Lydia didn't want to be married. It wasn't Hadvar, like she had said. But the idea of the marriage, to be bound to somewhere, the boring life as a housewife - that got to her. That frightened her.

But her father - the Jarl's younger brother - was a determined man and Lydia had never disobeyed him. Sura was almost sure that Hrongar didn't know his daughter's true feelings.

- We better move on, Lydia said finally and she looked at Sura's basket. - Do you have everything now?

She nodded. The back wall of the cave was filled with glowing mushrooms and the ground was fertile and had more than one cluster of Bleeding Crown's. She had also picked some Imp Stools and White Caps, she remembered Farengar had run out of them just recently.

- Are we going back the same way? Sura asked. - The tunnel seems to continue. It goes upwards so the other end of the cave might be somewhere higher.

- What we do have to lose? Lydia said, tucked the emerald somewhere under her armor and pulled her sword out again. She looked up at the narrow cavern and turned at Sura who picked up her basket and dropped the sapphire among the flowers and mushrooms. - You better stay behind me again. The tunnel is quite narrow. I think it would be safer if you didn't use the flame spell this time.

- Don't worry, Sura smiled. - I don't even have enough power now to bring up another burst. So, we are fully dependent on your sword now.

- As long you stay behind me, there's nothing I can't handle, Lydia said. - Let's go then.

They entered the narrow path that lead upwards. It seemed to circle around the small stream that was running inside the mountain. The stone walls were filled with cracks and the water pushed its way through the rock and into the tunnel, making the path even more slithery and dangerous. At some points the ceiling was incredibly low and they had to crouch forward.

After some time the sound of water became louder and they could see some light at the end of the tunnel. They both breathed deeply as they emerged from the small passage right next to a roaring waterfall that pummeled down the mountain side. They looked around, blinking their eyes in the bright light. The ground was far below them and they could see across the Whiterun plains. From the wide stone ledge they still saw the shape of the Dragonsreach, its high towers and sturdy walls but the city of Whiterun was mostly obscured by the towering, snowy mountainside. Below them, little to the right, down by the river, was a small village that consisted of couple of wooden houses, a sawmill and an inn.

- Riverwood, Lydia said. - So, we didn't end up that far after all.

- Isn't Hadvar from Riverwood? Sura asked. - His uncle lives there, right?

- Yes, he's the smith, Lydia nodded and grinned. - A nice man. If I wasn't marrying Hadvar, I could consider him as well.

- You must be joking, Sura laughed. - Isn't he already married?

- Yes, and his wife is incredibly jealous, Lydia said. - She always looks at me angrily and tells me to stay away from her husband. Like I would actually dare to make a move.

- Well, then you have no chances with him, Sura stated mischievously. - You are going to have to settle for his nephew.

They looked around for an easy way to get to the ground level. They could see the rocky road underneath, but just ahead of them was a vertical cliff, they wouldn't be able to get down safely that way. The ledge arched slightly downwards in the right side and after they had checked all the other possibilities, they decided it was the safest way to go. Lydia offered to go first. But she didn't even have the chance to test their option when a massive roar shook the earth and the ground.

Shocked, they looked at each other. Neither of them had ever heard anything like it, such a powerful, such a terrifying sound. The echo of the roar traveled right through their bodies and into their bones. It made them both tremble from fear.

- What was that? Lydia whispered and grabbed Sura's hand.

- I don't know, she answered. - And where did it come from?

They raised their eyes to the sky, it was clear and blue. But the forest around them had suddenly grown eerily quiet. They didn't hear the birds nor the crickets. It seemed that even the wind had quieted down. The loud drumming of the waterfall was the only voice they heard.

And when the roar came again, they clung to each other for safety and comfort and stepped back behind the shadows of the fall. Whatever it was, they wished it wouldn't be able them to see them.

- Look, Lydia pointed to the distance. - Something is burning over there. Behind Riverwood.

- What is going on? Sura wondered. - Isn't one of those Imperial fortresses there? Is that what's burning?

Suddenly something blotted out the sun. They raised their eyes to see what had caused the sudden darkness. Above the forest a massive lizard like creature was gliding in the air. All they could do was stare as the black figure swooped down, disappeared for a moment and then came back up. They could hear the voice its wings made, they saw the flames it breathed, how it rained destruction and death upon the already burning fortress.

- What...? Lydia stuttered. - What is that thing?

- It's no bird, that's for sure, Sura mumbled. - Could it be... a dragon?

- A dragon? There hasn't been dragons in Skyrim in ages. It can't be! Lydia exclaimed.

- Well, what else is it then? Sura yelled. - It's burning down the fortress right before our eyes.

- We...we need to get back to Whiterun! Lydia decided. - The Jarl needs to know about this. If that...thing...attacks the city...I don't even want to think about might happen.


	6. Chapter 6: What lies ahead

**Moving on and a little quieter chapter again. Women and their marriage and love problems, right ;)? Thanks for reading and sorry for all the possible mistakes. **

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**6. What lies ahead**

Vilkas was incredibly annoyed. He had been annoyed ever since Lydia the "Sword-Maiden"- _more like a chaperone, if you ask me_ - had made her inappropriate appearance in the Jorrvaskr training yard. Vilkas didn't hate Lydia, he in fact liked the spunky girl, even though she could be rather meddlesome from time to time - _like today_.

Today, he had hated Lydia. For a short time.

It had been the closest he had ever gotten to Sura, because he had never assumed that the girl would be interested in him. But the idea that she _could_ be, might end the torture he had been enduring for years.

He knew that his friends sometimes sneered at him, because most of the Companions knew about his prolonged affection towards the girl. He didn't mind their playful teasing, as long as it remained inside certain boundaries.

He wore his wolf armor, like any other day, and as he walked from the mead hall to the Market, he could feel people's eyes upon him. In Whiterun hold he had never received disregard or ignorance. He always tried his best to uphold the clear image and the honor of the Companions. From the way the people of Whiterun looked at him, he knew they respected him and the beliefs he upheld.

But it was partly because of the honor and the courage, that more than one woman in Whiterun had tried to impose their daughters on to him over the years. And it was not always just the mothers. Most women, Nords, Bretons, Imperials, even some Elves, were becoming more and more bold in their advances. And as time passed, he had gotten a certain reputation when it came to women.

He was handsome, he was attractive - but he could also be brutally cold and insensitive. Most women gave up after the first try and went to his brother instead.

Farkas happily accepted the company of the lovely ladies his brother turned down. The more the merrier was his motto. Vilkas knew more than one occasion where Farkas had gone to the Bannered Mare to spent the evening with Torvar and Skjor, and none of the three men never came back alone, if they came back at all. Since Kodlak Whitemane didn't approve half naked women running around the halls of Jorrvaskr, they usually had their pleasures at the Bannered Mare. The innkeeper, Hulda, had gained lots of gold from the Companions. The harder the missions, the farther they needed to travel from Whiterun, the more fun they seemed to need after they came back. And Hulda always welcomed them with warm, clean beds and lots of ale and mead in her cabinets. Because if there weren't many women, there at least had to be some mead. Women knew Farkas as the stud, the man who never ran out of energy and could always please another woman only moments after the previous one had got out the door.

But with Vilkas, it was another story. He was a man who only wanted one woman. In his youth, he had of course experienced many different embraces of many different women, but as he grew older, his mind turned to the one woman, to the one person he never though he could have.

_Until this afternoon_.

He fingers could still remember the soft fur of Sura's cheek and the excruciatingly intoxicating smell of lavender and tundra cottons still lingered around him. Even after he crossed the Market, he could still smell it. That was of course impossible, he knew it and his rational mind knew it. He tried to keep his mind clear of her and so he wandered into Belethor's General Goods.

Belethor usually had new and interesting books for sale that he hadn't read before. That was another thing the Companions sometimes teased him about. _The brains of the Ysgramor, indeed. _Despite the teasing, he was ready to fill his lonely evenings with books, one story after another until he was so tired he fell asleep with the book on his face. If he didn't read, he's mind would wonder off, somewhere in the quiet halls of the Dragonsreach.

- Well, well, isn't it one of the Companions from Jorrvaskr? Belethor greeted him as he entered. - What can I do for you today?

- Got any new books? he asked him and stepped in front of the counter.

- There might be something in the back, Belethor smiled. - Hold on, I'll go check.

He disappeared in the backroom and Vilkas turned his attention to the shelves and boxes which were filled with all kinds of stuff, from fox pelts to goat horns. Belethor even sold some weapons and Vilkas took a closer look at the iron swords that were placed in the weapons rack against the wall.

He heard the door open, glanced over his shoulder and saw two women enter the store. Yosolda, the future innkeeper, and Ahlam, the Redguard priestess from the Temple of Kynareth. They talked with hissing voices and he didn't care about their gossip, but as soon as he heard Sura's name, his hearing sharpened and he moved a little closer.

- It is a little extraordinary that Idolaf wishes to marry her, Yosolda began. - But I see nothing wrong with it. If they indeed care for each other, and his family has nothing against it, why not marry.

- You mean because she's a Khajiit, they wouldn't like the idea, Ahlam suggested.

- We all know she is different, Yosolda said. - But I don't really understand why we are so suspicious of the Khajiit. They have never treated me unfairly.

- Way I heard it, Olfrid himself wants Idolaf to marry Sura, Ahlam revealed and Yosolda gasped in surprise. - Because the Jarl hasn't decided with one way or another with this war, he thinks that if Idolaf is married to Sura, it may persuade him to side with the Empire.

- So, it's a political scheme? Yosolda asked. - Because of the Empire.

- Oh, sorry to take so long, Belethor suddenly appeared from the backroom. - Hello to you too, ladies. I'll be with you in a minute. Vilkas, here are the books you asked for.

Vilkas nodded and walked to the counter. He glanced the books superficially but none of the names stuck in his head. He was confused of the conversation he had just heard. First of all, he hadn't known that Sura had received an official marriage proposal. But the bigger question was..._had she agreed to marry him? _

He felt anger and jealously lift their heads inside him, his hands clenched into tight fists and his eyes began to burn. He told himself to calm down, he had mastered the chancing process years ago and he knew very well when to unleash his inner beast and when to conceal it.

- Found anything interesting? Belethor asked him.

- Not this time, he stated. He could sense that the shopkeeper had grown a little nervous. So he forced himself to breathe deeply and pushed the animal back, deeper and deeper until he could feel no trace of its presence.

- Well, maybe next time, Belethor stuffed the books under the counter and as Vilkas walked out, he turned his attention to the two women who were admiring some new shoes and dresses.

The fresh air helped him to clear his mind completely. He was thinking where he could find some more information concerning Idolaf Battle-Born and Sura. There was of course Idolaf's brother, Jon - _the loiterer _- who spent his days at the Market, doing nothing apparently, because most of the time he just leaned against a wooden beam and stared at the sky. Vilkas considered asking him about his brother's intentions, but it would seem suspicious and strange. The Companions were never interested in common gossiping.

He knew that Farkas and Torvar were heading to the Bannered Mare later in the evening. And the innkeeper Hulda knew everything that was happening in Whiterun. All he needed to do was ask his brother to present a few well placed questions to Hulda and she would be more than happy to tell what was really going on. Of course, he would have to bear his brother's sarcastic grin but it was only Farkas after all.

He started to make his way back to Jorrvaskr when he heard frantic voices and yells from the main gate. Whiterun was the city of the Companions, it was part of their duty to defend her walls. He didn't hesitate as he released the leather straps the held his sword in place. He didn't pull it out yet as not to injure the townsfolk but if need be, it would be in his hands in few seconds.

Lots of people were gathered at the gate and he could barely see what was causing such commotion. But as he saw a glimpse the white fur - _Sura's fur _- he pushed his way forward. When he saw them clearly, the first thing he noticed was the blood.

Lydia was covered in dried blood. It was in her face, her armor and in her hair.

- What has happened? he demanded and the two exhausted women looked up at him.

- The Jarl...Sura panted. - We need to talk to the Jarl.

- Are you hurt? Vilkas asked and quickly pulled her closer, spun her around and searched for telltale signs of wounds and cuts. His bounding heart settled only when he realized she was uninjured. By then she was already in his arms and if there hadn't been so many people around them, he would have held on to her a little longer.

- Let's go, Lydia said. - Something has happened.

- What do you mean? Vilkas asked.

- Come with us to the Dragonsreach, Sura said and grabbed his hand. She was still exhausted from their hurried return and amazed about what they had seen. But his presence here, his concern for her warmed her heart and made her bolder. It was a strangely familiar feeling, to be suddenly able to hold his hand. It was warm and her small fingers wrapped around his. - The Companions need to know about it too.

As they entered the Dragonsreach, the Jarl, Irileth, Hrongar and Proventus Avenicci were having a meeting. They turned their heads when the doors opened and shock and amazement shone from their faces. Hrongar, Jarl Balgruuf's younger brother, Lydia's father, was especially horrified to see his daughter in such a shape.

- Lydia! Hrongar ran to her. - What has happened to you?

- What? Lydia looked at his father and only then she remembered her appearance. Even Sura hadn't mentioned that she was still covered by the blood of the bandit who's head she had cut off. Confused and slightly embarrassed, she wiped her cheek and felt the lumps in her hair.

- Speak, child! Hrongar said. - Why do you look so devastated?

- Hrongar, the Jarl stood up from his chair. - Give her a little space and time to explain. Now, children. What has happened?

- My Jarl, Lydia stuttered. - There is something happening in the mountains beyond Riverwood.

- Riverwood? The Jarl asked. - Weren't you two suppose to stay on the plains? How come you went to the mountains? You should know better...

- My Jarl, Sura interrupted him. - We saw a dragon.

The longhouse grew silent. The guards, even the servant maids, who were sweeping the stairs of the reach, stopped their work and raised their eyes. The Jarl looked at his younger brother and disbelief and astonishment ranged in their faces. Irileth once again looked at Sura as she was the biggest liar in the world.

- A dragon? Jarl Balgruuf finally said. - That's impossible. The dragons are dead. Have been dead for a long time.

- It was burning down the Imperial fortress near Riverwood, Lydia confirmed.

- Helgen? Hrongar asked. - Now why would a dragon attack there?

- If this is true, Vilkas finally said. - If the dragons have returned, then you must send some men to the nearby villages, my Jarl. You cannot endanger people's lives.

- Hold on, Proventus Avenicci raised his hands. - We don't even know if it's true what these girls are telling us. Maybe they saw a big bird or a cloud formation or...

- We know what we saw, Lydia stated and her voice was steady and convincing. - It was no bird nor a cloud. It was spewing fire, burning everything in its path. It is a miracle if someone survived.

- Hmm, the Jarl stroked his beard. - This is indeed worrying news.

He walked back to his chair, sat down and deep thoughts clouded his eyes. Finally he turned to his Dunmer bodyguard.

- Irileth, send someone to Riverwood, he said. - One man is enough. If a dragon has indeed attacked Helgen, the people of the village surely know about it.

- Yes, my Jarl, Irileth bowed, glanced at Sura - _like this whole situation was her fault_ - and dismissed herself.

- Kodlak Whitemane and the Companions also deserve to know about this, Jarl Balgruuf said to Vilkas. - I believe I can trust you not to spread this around the city. No need to stir panic among the people if this turns out to be nothing at all.

Vilkas nodded. - You have my word. And if the city gets attacked, the Companions will defend her to the last man. He bowed to the Jarl, looked at Sura one last time, then turned and headed towards the door.

The Jarl turned his attention to the two girls who still stood ahead of him. He didn't want to suspect their words, but a dragon - that sounded way too difficult to believe.

- Sura, Lydia, he started and his voice was soft and gentler now. - You both look tired. Go clean yourselves and join us later for dinner. We'll talk more then.

* * *

Later that evening, when the darkness had already covered the plains of Whiterun and clouds shrouded the sky, Sura stood in the great porch of the Dragonsreach. The city was ominously quiet even though it was still early in the evening.

They had all dined earlier but the Jarl hadn't asked anything about the dragon. Instead he had directed the conversation to a different topic and tormented Lydia - without knowing it of course - with questions about her future wedding and marriage. Lydia answered calmly and her composure didn't give away her true feelings. Sura expected that the Jarl would also bring up the two proposal concerning her, but he never mentioned them.

She heard the big wooden doors crack open. She didn't need to turn around because she recognized the Jarl's footsteps. He stood next to her, looked into the dark sky and sighed.

- It seems that Skyrim is in turmoil these days. This land has become a dangerous place. The war is tearing it apart. Brothers turn against each other and fathers kill their own sons in the battlefields. Bandits roam the countryside and the travelers are in constant danger. And now...even dragons...

The war had indeed taken its toll. It had affected the land but also its people. Sura saw some deep wrinkles in his face that she hadn't noticed before. The Jarl was still a handsome man, but even he was growing older.

- In your eyes, I look tired and old, don't I? he said and she lowered her gaze. - Yes, there comes a time when I join my brothers in Sovngarde. But don't worry, I intent to live through these troubled times and see a day when this city and this land are both safe again.

- I think Whiterun is the safest city in Skyrim, Sura whispered. - We have Commander Caius in the charge of our city's defense. And we have the Companions and they have promised to defend this city and its people. And we also have the greatest Jarl in all of the holds, she looked at him and saw a smile rise on his face. - Who would dare the threaten this city?

- You flatter me, the Jarl laughed. - But I like it. I don't get to hear genuine words too often.

They stood in silence for a moment. The clouds were breaking apart and she was able to see a glimpse of the night sky, filled with bright, sparkling stars.

- I hope this city will remain safe, the Jarl began. - But I also wish to guarantee the safety of those who are dearest to me. I'm not sure if you've heard but two men from Whiterun has offered marriage to you.

Sura winced. She didn't know what to say. If she would refuse, she felt like she was letting the Jarl down. Disappointing him was the worst thing she could imagine. But agreeing to marry one of the two men didn't seem possible either. For her heart already belonged to someone else.

- To this day, you have not found your real family, the Jarl continued. - And if you never find them, I only hope that you have another family that you can lean to. If there is no one to be found, no parents, no brothers or sisters, why not form your own family.

- I have heard about the proposal, Sura nodded. - Lydia told me.

- You know I won't force you to marry anyone and it is not in my power to give you away, you are free to decide your own fate, the Jarl said. - I instructed them to seek you out and ask from you personally. Honestly, it's hard for me to image you being a wife of the merchant, Belethor. And what comes to Idolaf Battle-Born...well, he is a strong man and he would be able to protect you, that much is certain.

- Yes, he is very strong and vigorous, Sura agreed.

- Not that you seem to need any protection these days, the Jarl stated and when Sura raised her eyes, a knowing smile rippled in his face. Without a word, he pulled out a heavy coin purse and placed it in front of her to the wooden railing. - Here, he said.

- What is this for? Sura asked.

- Those bandits, I had placed a reward on their head, the Jarl sneered. - And I sent a mercenary after them. But as she entered the cave, all of the bandits were already dead and she saw two giggling girls in the middle of the carnage. She was able to describe you and Lydia in detail to me.

Sura gasped and felt herself embarrassed and shameful at the same time. She knew very well that the Jarl didn't want her or Lydia anywhere near danger, he always reminded them of Giant camps and ordered them to stay away from them. But now, they had not only broke their promise but were caught red handed.

- You two deserve this reward money, the Jarl finally said. - But this is the only time I'll let something like this happen. My brother Hrongar has already lost his wife, he doesn't deserve to lose his daughter as well. And as for you - you know well enough how dear you are to me.

His words warmed her heart and as he turned to leave, she grabbed his hand and for the first time in all the years, she hugged him. She couldn't see how tears glistened in the Jarl's eyes but she felt his warm, strong hands around her and she knew that if something were to happen to this man - _this only father she had_ - she wouldn't be able to survive it.

- There, there, the Jarl patted her head softly. He smiled to her and was about to go back inside, when she stopped him again.

- My Jarl, she started. - I wish you wouldn't tell anything about what happened to Farengar. If he knew about the destruction spells...

- We all have our little secrets, Jarl Balgruuf smiled. - I promise, this will stay between us. But I also hope that in the future you concentrate more on the healing than the destruction.

She nodded eagerly and the Jarl's warm laugher echoed thorough the porch as he walked back inside.


	7. Chapter 7: A man who can't be moved

**Okay, a new character jumping in to the story in this chapter. Thanks for reading and sorry for the possible mistakes. Enjoy :).  
**

* * *

**7. A man who can't be moved**

A week later Sura was at the Market when a stranger entered the city. The reason she noticed him so quickly was because he - _like she_ - was a Khajiit. But he wasn't a trader nor with the caravans. He didn't look like a wealthy or important man but still he was allowed inside the city walls without questions.

Sura had just been at Arcadia's Cauldron. Farengar and Arcadia occasionally exchanged some of the ingredients they had, and the court wizard had sent her down to the Market to get some void salts from Arcadia. She stopped for a moment to talk with Fralia at her jewelry stand. She had split the reward money with Lydia and now they both had over 250 gold coins each. But Sura still hadn't been able to buy the gorgeous sapphire necklace from Fralia.

She was about to head back to Dragonsreach, when she saw him for the first time.

A male Khajiit. Much taller and much stronger than she was.

His fur was thick and almost completely black. There were some grey stripes, few in his bare arms and some in his tail. He was wearing a light brown leather armor but he had cut off the sleeves and his muscular arms were filled with scars and marks. The most remarkable and gruesome sign was a long, ragged wound in his arm, that hadn't completely healed. It reached from his right shoulder almost all the way down to his hand. It looked painful and the blood red skin shone grotesquely between the black fur.

He didn't look around and he ignored everyone. Yosolda, who spent most of her days at the Market, greeted him, but he passed her by without saying a word, without even looking at her. It was like he was blind to everything around him. He headed towards the Wind District and strode up the stairs quickly and efficiently.

Sura hurried after him because something about his man - this Khajiit - interested her. He wasn't very attractive, in fact, to her eyes, he was rather ugly. As she followed him from a distance, she could tell that he wasn't in a good mood. His tale swiped back and forth very aggressively, his ears were drawn back and she could imagine him growling and baring his teeth to anyone who would dare to approach or talk to him.

He didn't stop at the Wind District, ignored the guards and Heimskr, who was once again at his old post, praising Talos and mocking the Elves and the Empire. The Khajiit didn't slow down at the stairs either and Sura was gasping for air as she ran after him. She kept her eyes at her feet, she was wearing a long dress and she had to be careful not to stumble on the hem as she hurried along. She didn't notice that he had stopped on the top of the stairs. As she raised her eyes to look where he had gone, she was staring at his scary face. He was only few steps away from her and she could feel the danger that radiated from him.

She was startled and took a few steps back. When she felt the edge of the high stone stairs behind her, she automatically leaned forward so as not to fall down. He didn't extend his hand or tried to help her in any way. But she instinctively gripped his armor and her claws dug in to the soft leather.

As she was standing on her own two feet again and her balance wasn't threatened anymore, she quickly detached her claws from his armor. Carefully she raised her gaze and was shocked to see only hate and disregard in his face. She had never seen such strong anger and wrath in anyone's eyes.

He turned around, again ignoring her completely and continued his way to the Dragonsreach. Sura swallowed, squeezed the small bag with the void salts in her hand and continued after him. But this time her steps were calm and graceful.

He pushed the doors open and was immediately surrounded by the guards and Irileth. She pulled out her sword and walked closer to the Khajiit, who still showed utmost contempt and disdain to the people around him. Irileth didn't care about Sura, so she snuck up the stairs and stood in the shadow of one of the wooden pillars, where she could see and hear everything perfectly.

- What's the meaning of this interruption? The Jarl doesn't accept visitors, Irileth said and her red eyes were gleaming dangerously.

- I have nothing to say to you, Dunmer, the Khajiit answered. His voice was low and raspy. - I only speak to the Jarl.

- You will answer when I ask - _cat_! Iritelth growled and raised her sword against his neck.

The male Khajiit didn't seem to be bothered nor afraid by her attitude or her sword. He only sneered, took few steps forward and when the blade brushed against his neck, a small trail of blood ran down his skin.

- Back off! one of the guards yelled, pulled out his sword and was ready to strike him down when the Jarl's voice came deep and powerful from the other side of the hall.

- Put down your swords! he bellowed. - You too, Irileth!

- My Jarl, it is my responsibility to protect you, Irileth refused to back away. - From all and any threats.

- Let him through! the Jarl commanded.

Irileth frowned unhappily, but lowered her weapon. As the Khajiit stepped forward, she hurried right next to the Jarl and kept her weapon ready to strike. She hated it when the Jarl placed himself willingly in danger. If it was up to her, this strange wild animal should have been thrown to the Dragonsreach dungeon, and only days later they might have asked him what he wanted. But now - he seemed very capable and very powerful. And very dangerous.

Sura was watching behind the wooden pillars and was taken aback by this man's courage. Was it courage or stupidity? No one before him had the bravery to stand against Irileth. And if the Jarl hadn't called his men away, this Khajiit would be dead already, she was sure of it.

- What can I do for you, friend? Jarl Balgruuf asked.

- I come from Riverwood, he said after a while. The word "_friend_" seemed to irritate him. - Alvor, the smith sent me. A dragon has attacked Helgen. Riverwood needs more men.

- A dragon? In Helgen? the Jarl repeated and looked at his brother. - By Ysmir, then it is true...

- Are the people in Riverwood safe? Hrongar asked from the Khajiit. He nodded.

So it wasn't an illusion, Sura thought. It wasn't some foreign magic either. What she and Lydia had seen was real. But how did this man know about it? Surely he couldn't have been at Helgen, witnessing the situation, could he?

- And how do you know about it? the Jarl asked his visitor. - Are you sure it wasn't some Stormcloak raid gone wrong or...?

- I was at Helgen when it happened, he answered. - I was to be executed.

As soon as he said those words, Irileth pulled out her sword and stepped closer to the Jarl. The sharp blade was once again pointed towards the male Khajiit. He crossed his arms and a derisive smile rose on his face.

- Are you willing to finish the job, Dunmer? he asked Irileth. - Give it your best shot.

- Enough! Jarl Balgruuf commanded. - Irileth, lower your sword.

- This cat is criminal scum, Irileth stated. - He should not be here at all.

- He has done us a service, the Jarl said and stood up from his chair. - Without him we wouldn't know what is happening. Now, put the sword away, Irileth. We need to send some troops to Riverwood.

- My Jarl, Proventus Avenicci stepped forward. - If we sent more men, the Jarl in Falkreath might think it as provocation. He'll assume we are preparing to join Ulfric and attack him.

- The safety of my people is more important now! Jarl Balgruuf bellowed. Then he turned to Irileth. - Send a detachment to Riverwood at once.

- Yes, my Jarl, Irileth bowed. For a moment she stayed at the Jarl's side, still eyeing suspiciously at the male Khajiit. But the urgency of the situation commanded her to move and reluctantly she left to carry out her duties.

The steward also paid his respects and returned to his post. The only people that remained in the longhouse were the Jarl, his brother and male Khajiit.

- You have done a great service to Whiterun and to its people, the Jarl stood up and studied his guest with interested eyes. - I won't soon forget it. I would like to offer you some kind of reward.

- No need, the Khajiit answered. - I paid my dept.

- Would you please tell me in detail what happened at Helgen? the Jarl asked and sat back down on his chair. - How did your survive the dragon attack?

- I was rescued by an Imperial, the Khajiit said. It didn't seem like he wanted to explain his escape any further. - Hadvar. His uncle is the smith in Riverwood.

- Hadvar?! Hrongar exclaimed. - By the Gods! He was at Helgen too! Is he alright?

The Khajiit nodded. He continued his story, using short sentences and never revealing anything about himself. When he mentioned Ulfric Stormcloak, the Jarl sighed.

- Ulfric, he murmured. - So, the Empire almost got him. If he had died, this war would be over. But - you say, he got away?

He nodded. Nothing in his voice gave away his real feelings, but from her viewpoint, Sura noticed that as he mentioned Ulfric Stormcloak, his tail began to move more frantically and his body stiffened. Either he didn't like the rebellion leader or he admired him greatly.

- Well, I'm glad that Hadvar and you got out alive, the Jarl nodded. - You don't need to worry about the war, it's in the hands our generals and soldiers. But there is something...would I be allowed to know your name, traveler?

He didn't use the word "friend" anymore. The Khajiit stood silent for a moment. Then, he finally said: - It's J'Ziir.

- Yes, J'Ziir, the Jarl said. - You seem to be a very talented man. If you would be willing to help some of my people...

- I don't have time to help, J'Ziir said. - I didn't come here to help. I don't care about your country or your people. I'm not going to stay in this city for long.

- Where are you headed? the Jarl inquired and ignored his harsh words. - Not that it's any of my business, but...

- There are some things I need to...take care of, J'Ziir answered. - In Windhelm.

- Windhelm? Hrongar spat the word out. - They won't let your kind inside the city walls. They only love Nords up in Windhelm.

- Then the situations in no different from here, the Khajiit answered. Anger momentarily sparkled in the Jarl eyes. - Or am I wrong?

- What do you intend to do? Join the Stormcloaks? Jarl Balgruuf asked. - Didn't you just say you don't care about this country.

J'Ziir didn't answer. He wasn't obligated to explain his intentions. He was already annoyed at what had happened at Helgen - _when he had been so close to his goal_ - and now this Jarl - _this Nord_ - pretended like he cared for his kind. True, there seemed to be one Khajiit woman living in the city, but she was probably just a servant. Even now that irritating girl was hiding and eavesdropping behind one of the wooden pillars.

- The Stormcloaks won't allow any other race in their forces but Nords, Hrongar knew. - So, even if you go there to join, they will probably just run you out of town.

- I met Ulfric Stormcloak in Helgen, J'Ziir said. - He will remember me.

- Do as you see best, Jarl Balgruuf said. - But before you leave my city, I will ask you to speak to my court wizard. If for no other reason, at least he can offer you some relief to the pain. That wound looks very sore.

The Jarl stood us, nodded at the Khajiit and then he and his brother exited the hall. Sura also backed away and entered Farengar's workroom. She was sure he had heard everything even though he hadn't moved from his laboratory.

- Did you bring me the void salts? the wizard asked. Sura nodded and placed the satchel on the table. Then she went to her room, opened her small chest and picked up a red vial. She hurried back and was surprised to see the male Khajiit standing in the doorway. She was sure that he had already managed to slip away from the reach.

She could see the pain in his eyes even though he tried his best to hide it. She didn't hesitate, walked up to him and handed him the vial.

- Here, she said. - This will help. It will ease the pain, sterilize the wound and heal it faster.

- I heard that you are a capable man, Farengar cleared his throat. - Maybe you can help me with something.

- Don't think so, the Khajiit said. He still hadn't accepted the potion from Sura.

- I understand that this might come out as very unexpected, Farengar continued. - But allow me to explain. I've been doing a research about the dragons for quite some time now. Yes, there have been rumors before this attack. You see, there is this stone tablet that I need. It's called the Dragonstone. I'm not quite sure if it's actually in Bleak Falls Barrow but...

- Not interested, J'Ziir snapped, turned to Sura, grabbed the potion and left the room. Farengar still tried to say something but as the heavy wooden doors closed, it was already too late.

* * *

As he walked down the steep, stone stairs, he squeezed the vial in his hand. He wanted to throw it away, he didn't want the pity or compassion of these people. As he passed the big tree in the middle of the Wind District he sighed and tucked the potion deep in his pocket. _Maybe I can sell it_, he thought.

He looked around the Market District, darkness had already fallen over the city and all the stands were closed. He recognized the Inn by the loud voices and as he opened the door he readied himself once again to feel their judgmental gazes.

The Inn was surprisingly vacant, only few people occupied the place and no one raised their eyes when the door slammed shut behind him. Only the innkeeper, a quiet looking woman, glanced up and welcomed the guest.

- Need a room or maybe some food? she asked him. - Or did you just come to drink?

- The room, J'Ziir said. - How much?

- Ten gold coins, she replied. - That includes a warm bath, clean sheets and a good night's sleep. And don't mind Mikael, he will stop singing when his voice gets too hoarse.

- Deal, he said and counted the coins. He was mildly surprised by her attitude. She was friendly and treated him like any other guest in the inn.

- Your room is upstairs, she swiped the gold in her hand and tucked the coins under the counter. - I'll bring you some warm water.

- Bring some food as well, he placed a few more coins on the counter.

She smiled and nodded.

He turned, looked around for a moment and then headed upstairs. His arm was now aching and throbbing. He could barely move his hand without grinning and he realized his fingers were starting to feel numb. The room was clean and simply furnished, it had a big bed and a small inner balcony. He sat down on the bed and tried to move his fingers. His thump was moving fine but the index finger and the middle finger were stiff and rigid. When he moved his little finger, hot flames of pain shot up his arm and shoulder. He grit his teeth, closed his eyes and waited for the pain to pass. _You have been though much more than this_, he told himself. _And you have always survived. _

Someone knocked lightly on the door and when the innkeeper came in with a tray filled with food and drink, his face remained motionless. She clapped her hands and two men carried in a large bathtub and poured many buckets of warm water in it. They left one bucket of cold water beside it, in case the water was too hot.

- That looks painful, the innkeeper said while she organized the food on the small table. - I could call a priestess from the Temple of Kynareth. She is able to help you.

- No need, he huffed. - I'll be fine.

- Alright, she nodded. - Just call me when you're done and I'll tell the men to come and take out the bathtub.

He nodded and a moment later he was once again alone. He looked at the steaming bathtub and wondered when was the last time he'd had a bath. Long before Helgen, that's for sure. He started to remove his armor but the pain in his arm caused him to moan. The small, red vial dropped from his pocket and rolled down to the floor.

He picked it up and thought about what the girl had said. "_It will ease the pain and help the wound heal faster._" Why had she given it to him? He unscrewed the cork and smelled the liquid inside. The scent was amiable and kind of flowery. He didn't recognize the flower but his nose didn't pick up any unfamiliar odors either. Fine, he thought. Let's see does it help at all. He poured the potion in his mouth, swallowed it and waited for the effect.

Almost immediately he could feel a strong, warm feeling surrounding his arm. The pain subsided and as he watched the skin around the wound began to heal and mend itself. The lacerations closed down, the blood vessels stitched together and in mere moments the only visible thing left was a large, pale scar. He moved his arm and his fingers but could only feel a slight discomfort in his shoulder now.

_That's some powerful stuff you have there, little kitty_, he thought as he removed his armor and his pants.

He sighed deeply as the warm water surrounded his body. He closed his eyes and immediately, the memories rushed back. He didn't need to call them, they were always there, in the back of his head. All he needed to do, was open the door.

The Khajiit girl in the Dragonsreach reminded him of Zahraji. She had the same blue eyes. As soon as he remembered her, he remembered his purpose. The reason he had come to this wretched land.

His anger grew and his hate towards this land and its people momentarily clouded his mind. He had been so close, so close to his goal. But both times, something had gone wrong. The first time, the Imperials got involved and the second time it was the Imperials _again_ - but this time there had also been a dragon. But if it wasn't for the dragon, he would have died long before the man he wanted to kill.

He'd had his chance in the midst of the chaos, when Ulfric's bodyguard had dragged him to nearest keep. His hands were still tied, and he had calculated that the odds were against him. He wouldn't have time to rip the man's throat open and be sure that he was dead. It would take more than claws to finish him off. So, he was ready to wait.

Wait for the perfect moment. If they would allow him to join their forces and he would gain their trust...well, then it should be easy to just cut his throat and be done with it. He wouldn't let eagerness, optimism or impatience mess up his plans. Not this time. He had made the wrong decisions last time and the Imperials had caught him and almost chopped his head off.

But Windhelm was far away from Whiterun. He needed money, new armor and better weapons. He had not forgotten what the court wizaed had proposed to him earlier in the evening, his memory didn't allow him to forget things.

_Fine_, he thought. He would get the stone tablet to the wizard. And if it really was as important as the he made it sound, he would be willing to pay a fair amount of gold for it.


	8. Chapter 8: The note

**Thanks again for your patience, hope you still enjoy reading. Again, sorry for all the possible mistakes. :)**

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**8. The note**

Incredibly, Sura was having a free day. She didn't have anything to do. Farengar didn't need her help and Eorlund wasn't at the Skyforge. Most of the Companions were also gone from Jorrvaskr, Sura only saw Vignar as she crossed the Wind District.

She heard that Lydia was at the guard barracks, near the city gates. It seemed that Commander Caius was once again trying to get her to join the Whiterun guards. Lydia had trained with them and Commander Caius had personally trained her for the past few years whenever he had the time. He saw potential in her.

Sura passed the Market and headed towards the guard barracks. She stopped to greet the guard who was on duty that day and he told her that Lydia wasn't at the barracks after all. She and her father had gone to Riverwood to meet Hadvar. They were naturally worried about him since he had been at Helgen and survived. Sura imagined that Hrongar was more than interested to hear his side of the story and maybe get little more information about the male Khajiit, _J'Ziir_, that Hadvar had rescued.

Sura walked on, she didn't go back to the Market. She climbed the stairs to the Wind District, passed Uthgerd's house and greeted Carlotta's daughter, Mila, who was hurrying off to play with Lars. Sura looked after her, smiled and remembered clearly that she had played tag only with Lydia when they were children. Sometimes Adrianne had joined them, but it was mostly her and Lydia.

She turned to continue and was suddenly standing face to face with one of her suitors, Idolaf Battle-Born. He was - like always - wearing his Imperial armor, bracers, boots and his sword. He was muscular and strong, he had blond hair and beard and his eyes were inquisitive, but kind.

- Hello, he greeted. - It's been some time since I last saw you. You are a hard woman to find.

- I haven't been hiding, she replied. - If you wanted to see me, you knew where to find me.

- True, but I don't come to the Skyforge, he said and his voice grew a little colder.

- Well, I'm not always there, Sura stated. - Like today. So, if you have something to say, why don't you say it now.

- Now? he suddenly seemed almost embarrassed. - Here, on the street?

- Does it make a difference where we talk? she asked. She knew exactly what he wanted to know and talk about.

- Alright then, he agreed. - I'm sure the Jarl has already conveyed my intentions to you. He told me to speak to you personally. I can assure you that if you are willing to marry me, I can provide you a good life. You will never have the need for anything and I will always keep you safe.

_Not a word about love or affection_, Sura thought sadly. But of course, people in Skyrim rarely considered love when they looked for a possible mate.

- Why do you wish to marry me? she asked him.

- Why? Idolaf was clearly confused and Sura realized that if he had any love towards her, it would have been his obvious answer. "_Because I love you"_. That's what he should have said. Then, she might have even considered his proposal. But to enter a loveless marriage for politics, that didn't make sense to her.

- Why not? Idolaf uttered. - You are a beautiful woman. And the Jarl favors you.

Was that really it? she thought. The Jarl favors me? That's the only reason you want to marry me? She breathed deeply and was ready to give him an answer, but before she could open her mouth, he lowered his hand on her shoulder.

- You don't have to answer immediately, he said silently. - I understand, women always consider these things, the benefits and the possible losses. But if you think about it carefully, I'm sure you'll see in the end that by marrying into my family, you'll get more good things than you lose.

He patted her shoulder, smiled and walked on. Sura looked after him until he disappeared between the houses and down the stairs. There was nothing passionate about him, at least when it came to his feelings towards her. He had patted her shoulder like she was his friend, his brother - not the woman he would like to make his own.

Sura looked at the house where the Battle-Born's lived. It was big and luxurious but it didn't look like a home. It was kind of scary and intimidating, like all their wealth and money and power. She would have settled for a small cottage and a poorer lifestyle if it was with someone she truly cherished and love. She walked on and hoped that she wouldn't meet the other one of her suitors too, but Belethor was busy man and he never closed his shop during the day. She had intentionally avoided him in the last few days. She didn't want to hear what were his reasons for wanting to marry her.

She stopped and sat down on a bench under the withering Gildergreen. The tree never had any leaves and its empty white branches made her even more sad. She looked towards Jorrvaskr. Eorlund wasn't at the forge, but did it meant that she shouldn't be there either. She was pleased that she now had a purpose, something to do, this day would have been endless if she would just have sit around and walk back and forth. She stood up and climbed the stairs to Jorrvaskr. She was heading towards the forge and when a busy young man ran to her and handed her a note.

- Here, the courier said. - This is for the Companions.

- But, I'm not...

- This is Jorrvaskr, right? he asked and when she nodded, he was content. - The right place then. Sorry, I'm really busy. I need to be in Markarth tomorrow morning and it's already late afternoon. Got to go.

He ran down the stairs and was out of sight before she could say anything. The note he had given her was meant for the Companions of Whiterun. She shrugged her shoulders, it would be enough if she took it in and gave it someone. It's not like they didn't like her in Jorrvaskr. When she was younger, she liked to listen to Vignar and the stories he told. He was good at telling tales and he almost always spiced them up a little, so there were lots of exaggeration but also real situations, all tied together by his good imagination. Aela had also offered to teach her archery, but to this day, she didn't have the chance to take up on her offer. Today would have been the perfect, if she'd been in Whiterun.

She opened the wooden poor and peeked inside. The mead hall was empty and quiet. The huge tables were filled with food and drink and the fire pit was smoldering so it hadn't been that long since someone had been there. She looked around for a moment and finally found Vignar from his room. He was polishing his leather boots and when Sura handed the note to him, he looked at her but didn't accept it.

- Don't give it to me, he said. - You know my memory isn't what it used to be. I might just stuck it somewhere and forget it all together.

- But there's no one else here, she said. - And if I leave to the table, it might fall to the floor and the outcome would be the same.

- Vilkas is here, Vignar spat on his boot and Sura swallowed. - He's downstairs, in his room. Take it to him, he knows what to do.

- There's really no one else here? she asked, and again her heart started beating uncomfortably hard. To go down to his room, _his bedroom_...

- Well, there's Tilma, but I can't image giving it to her makes any difference, Vignar grunted. - Go on now. I have things to do.

He practically pushed her out of the room, slammed the door shut and she glanced towards the other side of the hall. Large, wooden stairs led to another area, in the Jorrvaskr living quarters. Fine, she thought. I only need to go there, give it to him and get out. That's all.

Determined, she walked across the mead hall and down the stairs. She had been in the living quarters only couple of times. Once with Aela, when she wanted to show her priceless elven bow, which she kept in a locked display in her room. The other time was with Ria, when she'd had a little too much to drink and Sura had escorted her back to Jorrvaskr. Back then Ria had confessed to her that she had a mild crush on Athis. Sura was almost sure that Ria didn't remember telling her that and Athis still had no idea of her feelings.

The long hallway was as empty as the upstairs hall. She knew that Ria, Njada, Torvar and Athis slept in the first room but Aela, Skjor, Farkas and Vilkas had their own rooms a little further down the hallway. The last room belonged to the Harbinger, Kodlak Whitemane. His door was never open and she had never been in there. At the end of the hallway, she stopped for a moment and turned right. His door was closed and her heart was beating way too fast for her to hear anything else. Silently she walked to the door, raised her hand and knocked.

- Yes, his voice grunted from inside the room and carefully she opened the door.

It was a simple and convenient room with a bed, a table and some bookshelves. As soon as she entered, he stood up from the bed, where he had been reading. He wasn't wearing his armor, he had dark trousers and a white, clean shirt. His hair looked damp, like he had just taken a bath. He looked surprised to see her.

- Sura...he mumbled her name - _softly, gently, quietly _- and she had to clear her throat to get the words out.

- This was given to me by a courier, she handed the note to him. - It is meant for the Companions of Jorrvaskr.

- Let's hear it then, he closed the book and looked at her. - Read it.

- Read it? she uttered. - But...I can't read.

He looked at her with disbelief in his face. - That can't be true, he said. - You have lived your whole life in the Dragonsreach, among the Jarl's children. And you are also Farengar's apprentice. How can you not read?

- Well, I can't, she said sternly and placed the note on his table. - I have lived in the Dragonsreach - yes, but I am not one of the Jarl's children.

- Everyone should be able to read and write, he mumbled, grabbed the note and read it. He frowned and she looked at him worried.

- Is something wrong? she asked.

- It seems some bears are causing problems near Ivarstead, they are disturbing the local mill owner and many people have been injured, Vilkas explained. - Aela needs to know about this. She usually handles the beast problems.

- But she's not here now, Sura said. - And the people need help. Can't you go yourself?

- Almost all beasts in Skyrim are dangerous and unpredictable, Vilkas frowned. - But bears especially. During the mating season the males are frenetic and ferocious. It would be foolish to go alone.

- Well, that's true, Sura nodded. - It would be terrible, if... she paused and cleared her throat. - If...one of the Companions was injured or worse even, killed.

He folded the note and placed it on his table. As he turned to look at her again, she was staring at his armor. He had taken it off, cleaned it and oiled it. Now it hanged on a stand which was particularly made for the purpose. She raised her hand and touched the wolf head.

- What does it mean? she looked at him curiously. - What does it symbolize?

- The wolf? he walked to her. - The wolves of Skyrim are like no other animals. They are strong, durable, wise. They live in a pack. They take care of each other, they hunt together. They are a family, like the Companions.

She looked at him. His voice was warm and passionate and she could have listened to him for hours. His family meant a lot to him, his brothers and sisters, they were all here, under the same roof. He never needed to ask for their love or help, he had earned it just by being here and doing what he did best. He was one of the leaders of this pack and the others respected and listened to him.

- It's a good choice, Sura whispered.

- Yes, he nodded. - They are a close family. And they also mate for life.

When he said that, her hand - that was still caressing the steel - suddenly felt like it was burning. And it wasn't only her hand. Her whole body became incredibly warm and she pulled her hand back and took few steps away from him.

- Well, that's quite hard to believe, she eventually managed to mutter. - When you look at Farkas...

- True, Vilkas chuckled. - But I think he's an exception. Every pack needs one clown, one wild and completely brainless being. So life doesn't get too boring.

They both laughed. It was very easy to laugh with him. She hadn't known that Vilkas had sense of humor, he always seemed to serious. But she had never seen him without his armor either and this ordinary accessible man was a stranger to her. But it was Vilkas, nevertheless.

He looked at her and enjoyed the sound of her laughter. Unlike the other Khajiits, her voice wasn't husky or rough. It was lighter, clearer. He enjoyed listening to it. He simply enjoyed seeing her. And he wished she could remain longer.

- Would you like to learn to read? he suddenly asked.

- You would teach me? Sura looked at him amazed. - Now?

- I have some time now, yes, Vilkas nodded. - Of course I won't expect you to learn in one evening. You can come back when we both have some time.

She smiled to him and nodded her head anxiously. Her blue eyes were sparkling and Vilkas was surprised that she had agreed to his suggestion. He only wanted to keep her beside him for a little longer and teaching was the first thing he had thought about.

- Let's see then, he turned towards his bookshelf. - We should start off with something easy. First, you need to learn the letters. Only then we can start modifying the words and sentences.

- You're the teacher, she said happily and as he glanced over his shoulder, she hid her hands behind her back and stared at her feet. She looked incredibly cute in her blue dress and black shoes. He would have wanted to walk up to her, pull her in his arms and hold her for the rest of his life. Instead he took few books from the shelf, walked to his table and placed them there. He pulled out two chairs and asked her to sit down.

He could sense the smell of lavender as she sat beside him. They were so close that their knees touched. She pulled her chair a little back and then concentrated on books ahead of her. He started with the letters, he showed her every one, how they were written and what sound did they make. With every letter he asked her to repeat the sound and presented an example. He wanted her to learn the sound of the letter but also its difference when it was used in a word. He paid attention to the vowels and the consonants and emphasized their dissimilarities.

She listened to him intently and had no difficulties remembering the letters. After all, there were only 26 of them. Farengar often needed her to remember many more ingredients and when there were over 60, she started having trouble. But this - this seemed rather easy. And she liked the way he explained everything. When he asked did she remember any of the letters, she named them all without hesitation.

He looked at her bewildered.

- Were...were some of them wrong? she asked him.

- No, no, they were all correct, Vilkas said. - I was just wondering...how were you able to remember them all so quickly?

- My memory works like that, she explained. - Whatever I see and hear, I can remember it instantly.

- That's amazing, he smiled. - So there is really nothing in your life that you wouldn't remember. Every little detail, you can remember them all.

Momentarily she looked almost sad. She pulled back and looked down. He wasn't sure what he had said, but it was obviously something that had upset her.

- So, you don't know, Sura finally looked at him.

- Know what? he asked.

- How do you think I ended up here? she asked. - In Whiterun. Can you remember when you first saw me?

- No, I can't, he admitted. _Because to me, you have always been there._ - But I'm sure you can remember when you first saw me.

- Yes, she nodded and smiled. - But even I can't remember how I came here.

He remained silent. If she wanted to talk, he would listen. There was no need to ask questions she didn't knew the answer to. He hadn't known and he didn't know her origins, but he had wondered, like everyone else in Whiterun, how a little Khajiit girl came to live in the Jarl's court, inside the Dragonsreach. But as the years went on and his feelings grew he no longer questioned her background and accepted her as she was.

- There is something I can remember, she explained. - It seems like a small thing and I don't even know if it's real or just my imagination. But I remember that I touched something, she raised her hand and her eyes looked somewhere far away. Vilkas didn't pull pack when her hand pressed against his chest. Her hand was small, fingers were slender and her claws were sharp and pointy.

- Touched? he encourages her to continue.

- Yes, it was...furry and alive, she was somewhere in her own world now. In a place, where he could not follow her. - It was an arm or a leg, it was moving under my fingers, she said and suddenly she realized where she had placed her hand. She tried to pull it away but Vilkas places his own hand on top of hers and she could feel his heart beat against her palm.

Their eyes met, his grey ones and hers bright blue. He leaned forward, she didn't withdraw. Her eyes were wide open as he kissed her.


	9. Chapter 9: There shall be shadows

**Thanks for reading and for your interest. Sorry for the mistakes :).**

* * *

**9. There shall be shadows**

His lips were soft and warm against hers. She couldn't believe this was happening. She closed her eyes and opened them again. But he didn't disappear. He held her hand against his heart - which was beating faster now - and she felt his breath against her mouth.

He wasn't violent or fierce nor did he tried to force himself on her. His touch was light and as he deepened the kiss, she uttered out a little cry and extended her neck towards him. His other hand brushed her cheek and then it wrapped around her waist as he pulled her closer.

The faint smell of lavender and tundra cottons lingered around him. As she answered to his kiss, he gently parted her lips and slip his tongue inside her mouth to taste and to tease. He told himself to take it slow and be gentle and understanding, she clearly had very little if any experience with men. He wanted to be the one who would guide her to road of pleasure, he so much wanted to teach her something else than reading or writing.

When she felt his tongue in her mouth, the pleasure caused shivers down her spine and made her stomach quiver. His hands made her weak and trembling and she realized she wouldn't be able to deny anything from him. If he wanted, he could take her now. After all, wasn't this the one man she had waited most of her life.

He was submerged in her, he only wanted to feel and taste and smell and hear her. But in the back of his mind, he suddenly started hearing other voices. And they were not imaginary ones. He clearly heard his brother and Torvar and Skjor, as they slammed the heavy doors shut upstairs and as they sang about Ragnar the Red.

He pulled away from her and pressed his forehead against hers. He smiled and listened to her passionate breathing, he could feel her heart, it was beating just as fast as his own. Her eyes were closed.

- It seems that our lessons are over for the night, Vilkas finally managed to mumble.

- What? Sura opened her eyes and looked at him.

- We could have _studied_ little longer, he smiled and emphasized the word "studied". It was even more amusing when she started to stare at the floor, he could see she was exited but also embarrassed. But she was smiling even as she tried to hide it. - But as you can probably hear, Vilkas glances upstairs. - The drunken rabble has arrived. They won't give us any peace.

- I see, she giggled. - But I would like to come again. To study, I mean.

- I would like that too, Vilkas nodded and stood up. - Do you want to take the book with you?

- If you let me, Sura said.

- Of course, Vilkas agreed. - If you have nothing else to do, at least you can browse through it.

He opened the door and they stepped in to the hallway. They both wanted to say something to each other, but neither one knew how to start. And when they finally knew what they wanted to say, it was already too late, because Farkas was tumbling downstairs. Skjor and Torvar had remained in the mead hall and were no doubt having some more fun, and something more to drink.

- Kitty cat! Farkas slurred when he saw her. - What's a pretty lady like you doing here?

- Hi Farkas, Sura greeted and she had momentarily forgotten - _for once, blame Vilkas!_ - his speed and spontaneous nature. Even Vilkas was surprised when he strode over, grabbed her in his arms and spun her around the hallway. Farkas was incredibly strong and she felt the air squeeze out of her lungs.

- My true love! he yelled. - My true love is here, brother!

- Put her down, before you get hurt, Vilkas shook his head. - Her claws are quite dangerous.

- Listen, kitty cat, Farkas mumbled to Sura and refused to let her go. -If my stubborn brother rejects you again and again...you just forget about him and come to me, okay. He doesn't know how to treasure a woman like you. He only buries himself in books, since when books thaught you anything about real love!

Sura couldn't help but laugh. - Alright, Farkas. But could you please put me down now. I'm having difficulties to breath.

- Oh, sorry, dear, Farkas kissed her cheek and let her go.

- Well, I better go now, Sura straighten her skirt and touched her cheek. It seemed that everyone wanted to shower her with kisses today. - Good night.

- Night, kitty cat, Farkas smiled.

- Night, Sura, Vilkas said and grabbed his brother's arm. - And you...trouble maker...

Sura walked to the wooden door, looked back and saw the brothers laughing and talking and then suddenly, Farkas jumped on his brother and they came crashing down to the floor. After that, all she could hear was muffled swearing and Farkas' laughter. When she walked back to Dragonsreach, she felt like this could be the first night in ages, when she would be able to sleep soundly.

* * *

Few days later Sura was with Farengar in his workroom. He was still exited about his research and was wondering was there any way to get some old dragon bones or scales. He didn't know where the burial mounds were and even if he did, he wouldn't dare to go dig himself. So he was stuck in his study and that made him irritated. He did try to keep his mind on other things, like some of the new potions he had been developing. So he sent Sura around the city to collect his ingredients and when she returned, he sat her down before the table and started to explain what he wanted to accomplish.

They were so immersed in the recipe which required attention and patience that they both jumped when a heavy stone tablet was thrown to the table beside them. It broke some of the specimen jars and Farengar lifted his angry eyes to the person who had caused such damage. He quickly calmed when he saw the male Khajiit standing in the doorway. He was dirty, covered with spider webs and rock dust.

- Here's your stone, J'Ziir stated. - Pay up!

- Is it...really? Farengar gasped. - The Dragonstone?

He walked closer, but before he could even touch it, J'Ziir grabbed the tablet out of his reach.

- You get it when I get my gold, the Khajiit said.

- I don't have gold, Farengar huffed. - You must ask your reward from the Jarl.

- Better take it to him then, J'Ziir turned around. - Where is he?

- Please, just give it to me, Farengar pleaded. - I'll make sure you will get paid.

- How much, exactly? J'Ziir asked. - When you count all the draugrs, the spiders, the bandits, the skeevers, some traps and poison arrows...how much do you think this is worth?

- A fair amount, I give you my word, Farengar promised.

- Fine, I'll give it to you, but only because I don't have the energy to carry it around any longer, J'Ziir tossed the tablet back to the table. Then he sneered to the court wizard. - And if the Jarl doesn't pay enough...I'll just "_take_" something from you in return. Now...where is he?

- Farengar! Irileth suddenly ran into the room. She ignored J'Ziir completely and that was something Sura had never witnessed. Once Irileth considered you a threat, she would never chance her opinion. - You need to come at once! A dragon has been sighted nearby.

A dragon? Sura winced. She remembered the black beast she had seen together with Lydia. If the same dragon would attack Whiterun...

- You should come too, Irileth faced J'Ziir and the Khajiit frowned.

- I only came to collect my money, he stated. - I'm not interested in anything else.

- A dragon? Farengar repeated. - Really? That's exiting. Where was it seen? How long ago? What was it doing?

- This is not exiting, Irileth growled. - It's dangerous and devastating if people die. You better take this more seriously. If this dragon attacks us, I don't know what we can do about it.

- It would be interesting to catch it alive, Farengar planned. - This is Dragonsreach, after all. We could...

- Oh, be quiet! Irileth ordered. - The Jarl needs us. Come on!

Irileth hadn't ask her along but Sura stood up and hurried after them. She wanted to know what was happening and was there anything she could do. Jarl Balgruuf was upstairs questioning one of the guardsmen. He looked baffled and still at shock, and he couldn't really tell anything rational at first. He finally managed to explain that he had ran from the Western Watchtowers, and that was where the dragon had been sighted. Not far from the city.

The Jarl turned to his bodyguard. - Irileth, get some guardsmen and get down there.

- Yes, my Jarl, Irileth bowed. - I already ordered my men to muster near the main gate.

- Excellent, the Jarl nodded. - Send someone to Jorrvaskr as well. The Companions have promised to help.

Then the Jarl turned towards the male Khajiit. - Ah, J'Ziir. Good to see you. I'm afraid I'll have to ask your help...

- I still haven't received my last payment, he snarled. - Like I said, I didn't come here to help.

- I understand, the Jarl nodded. - But you are the only one who has faced a dragon and survived. My men and this city need you. I give you my word, you will be rewarded handsomely.

- Like I said, not interested, J'Ziir turned and was about to leave the reach when Sura stepped in his way.

- Is money all you care about? she asked him. - This land is home to more people than just the Nords. Even Khajiits live here, and they are much more defenseless than others. Don't you wish to protect them?

- Protecting them would be easier if they were allowed inside the city walls, J'Ziir growled and his eyes were flaming. - Now the Nords only sit around in their fancy halls and preach about their noble ways. I have no obligation nor will to protect these people. What do I owe to them?

- They let me inside, Sura stated. - And not just inside the city walls, but inside their hearts. I consider these people family...

- Good for you then, J'Ziir interrupted her. - But you are even more of a hypocrite than the rest of these people. You are a Khajiit. And still, here you are. Dressed up in fancy clothes, eating good food, sleeping in a warm bed. Do you have any idea how much your life differs from those who travel across the roads? You are quite safe here, princess.

- Enough! Jarl Balgruuf shouted. - You don't wish to help, then don't help. But don't waste our time either.

- Wasn't going to, J'Ziir glanced back. - She started it.

He passed by her and was on his way downstairs, but she turned around and ran after him. She caught up with him in the bottom of the stairs.

- If it was your family! Sura yelled at his back and he stopped. - If one of those caravans were part of your family! If it was someone you loved. Your parents, sisters, brothers, maybe even your own children. Wouldn't you want to save them?

His body stiffened, he stand there silently for a moment. Then, he turned, his ears drawn flat against his head, his claws ready to strike her down. Fear flashed through her body but she stood her ground. He smashed his other hand on the wooden wall, right next to her head, his claws ripping out splinters and shattering the wood. He towered over her even when he was standing one step lower than she.

- If it wasn't for this country and then Nords, I would still have my family, he hissed at her. - If it wasn't for the Nords, they would be safe and happy and alive. You want to defend the Nords - go right ahead. But don't you ever try to convince me. And never again mention my family.

She had never been so afraid. She closed her eyes and heard his footsteps as he finally walked away. She looked at the wall where he had smashed his hand, there were five deep scratches, loose splinters and some blood. He had hurt his hand but he hadn't noticed it. Upstairs the Jarl gave orders around and Farengar was upset that he wasn't allowed to leave the reach. It was the moment he had been waiting for all his life. Sura swallowed her tears back. What J'Ziir had said was infuriating.

_But he is right_.

She was the only Khajiit that was living inside the city walls. Had she ever thought about the others? Had she ever asked the Jarl to let them in? _No_. She had never considered the conditions they lived in. The constant dangers they faced in their travels.

She had only tried to survive her own nightmares.


	10. Chapter 10: The punishment of being me

**Thanks for reading and sorry for all the possible mistakes again :).**

* * *

**10. The punishment of being me**

_("J'Ziir! Leave your sister alone!")_

_("She started it!")_

She started it.

How many times in their childhood had he used that argument. He remembered mom giving him a stern look and his sister crying a little, but after a while everything had been forgotten and the sunny, warm, lazy days went on.

He didn't notice how the people of Whiterun were hurrying along, parents went after their children, the Market was closed, the guards herded people to safe areas, men gathered their weapons and prepared to defend their properties. He passed the vegetable stand and heard how the owner was calling out for her daughter. Her voice was frantic and nervous. Beside her was a man, the blond bard from the local Inn. He kept telling her that she needed to get to a safe place. She pushed him aside and kept looking around, peeking under the stands and asking the running guards had they seen her daughter.

J'Ziir moved on. It wasn't his problem.

He walked on and was almost at the main gate when he heard a low tearful cry under the bridge. He glanced around, no one else seemed to notice. A shallow stream flowed around Whiterun and just before the main gate was a small stone bridge. He took few steps closer to the railing and heard the cry again, this time it was clearer.

He jumped over the bridge and landed in the water with a splash. He squatted and peeked under the bridge.

The girl looked tired and terrified. She was holding her left leg and her big brown eyes were filled with tears.

- I...I sprained my ankle, she stuttered. - While I was trying to get to mom...

_("I sprained my ankle, J'Ziir! Carry me home!")_

- How did you end up here? he asked her, reached out his hands and picked her up in his arms.

- L...Lars and I were playing hide and seek, she mumbled. - But then people started to run around and I tried to run too but...

- Where's your mom? J'Ziir asked her.

- She works in the Market, the girl said. - I'm Mila. What's your name?

He didn't answer as they walked back. The woman was still there and now she was nearly fighting with the blond bard, who was constantly trying to pull her out of the plaza.

- Mom! Mila yelled from his arms and as she saw her daughter, she pushed the man away and ran to them. She hugged her daughter, then turned to him and her eyes were filled with tears of relief. He saw how the blond bard was looking at him, rage flashed across his face.

- Thank you so much, the woman looked up at him. - May the Gods bless you.

- She sprained her ankle, he said and handed the girl to her mother. - Go home now. It might get dangerous.

- Are you going help to fight the dragon? Mila asked him. - If you are, I'm sure Whiterun will be safe soon. You look very strong.

It was first time in years that a genuine smile rose on his face. He didn't know why, but the little girl and her endless faith in his strength reminded him of Zahraji. When she was little, she had also looked up at him and believed that whatever might happen, he would always protect her.

Mila and her mother hurried of the Market. He walked to the main gate, saw the guards running out and take their positions. He even saw a punch of specialized warriors, they all had matching amours, a wolf's head decorated the chest plate. A man who led them was strong and determined and ordered his people around with short, steady commands.

J'Ziir walked out of the gate and wondered why the Jarl wanted his help. He had all these men, his skilled warriors and high stone walls protecting his city. J'Ziir had faced a dragon and lived to tell about it but he hadn't killed it or fought with it. No, he had ran. And that's why he was alive. He couldn't imagine what help could he offer them. And why would he want to do that?

You didn't get paid yet, he reminded himself. If you walk out now, there is no turning back. You have to get to Windhelm by foot, without good armor or any decent weapons. He looked at his sword, which he had taken from one of the bandits from Bleak Falls Barrow. It was quite good, a normal steel sword, easy to swing around and light to use. He usually used two war axes, he had perfected his hand-eye coordination and when he was fully armed, fully prepared, he would be able to take on quite a number of enemies.

But axes weren't the only weapons he preferred. He liked his bow and arrow. His own ebony bow, which he had used for years. But there was no hope getting that back now, it was taken from him when the Imperials dragged him in Helgen.

New swords. Or better yet - new axes, he thought. And a decent bow, something that felt good and was comfortable to use and carry. His armor was also torn and worn out, filled with scratches and holes. He had noticed that extremely well in Bleak Falls Barrow when an arrow had almost nailed him against the nearest wall. His shoulder was still a little sore from the hit.

So - new armor as well.

In the back of his head there was still one thing that he wanted to deny. The Khajiit girl. She had given him the healing potion. He hadn't thanked her for it, but he had used it. And because of it, the massive wound in his arm was now completely healed.

_I always pay my debts_.

But killing a dragon - or help to kill it - sounded a little too much for a small bottle of potion.

Fine! he shook his head and looked towards the Western Watchtowers. No movement there so far. Let's kill the dragon then. But the price better be much, much higher than I originally bargained for.

* * *

The city grew quiet. Everyone was on the edge. Sura, Lydia, her father and the Jarl were standing at the balcony, looking over the planes of Whiterun. They saw the watchtowers - something was burning there - saw the men around them like little, black ants but there was no sign of the dragon yet. Lydia had wanted to go with guardsmen, but both Hrongar and the Jarl had been against it.

And then suddenly - a huge, winged lizard swoop down from the clouds, opened its mouth and started spewing fire upon the fighting men. They were trying to bring it down with arrows, but it didn't land. It circled around and came back for another attack.

- By the Gods, Lydia whispered. - They are getting slaughtered down there.

The dragon swooped around, grabbed few men in its massive talons, raised them high in the air and then finally dropped the men back to ground. There were only few guards moving now, taking cover and shooting arrows and the winged beast. It was hard to see what was happening exactly. But Sura thought that she still could make out Irileth. She was gathering the few men she still had and preparing for another attack.

Reinforcements were sent from the city and they could clearly see the Companions ride out to battle. Sura bit her lower lip, she wasn't worried about her own safety, but for his. For theirs. The dragon seemed almost impossible to beat down. It was massive, its scales were hard as rock, it's claws were huge and sharp and its tail powerful and strong.

But there was also someone else running towards the towers. He didn't seem to be in a hurry, he was almost jogging. She recognized him, it was the male Khajiit, J'Ziir.

- So, he decided to help, the Jarl smiled. - So, maybe he isn't so indifferent after all.

- What can he do? Sura asked. - You saw what happened to the others. What could he possibly do by himself?

* * *

J'Ziir wasn't in a hurry. He saw the dragon, saw what happened to the others and decided to save his energy. He only had his sword - not the best possible weapon and not the best possible situation. He saw how a group of skilled warriors rode out from Whiterun, their leader was the man who's grey eyes burned dangerously and who wore the wolf armor. _Maybe I should just let them handle it_, he thought. _No need for me to put my neck on the line. _

The dragon flew over him, it's shadow blotted out the sun. He felt the air draft of the animal as it glided gracefully in the sky. He realized that the others were still quite far away and the dragon was circling him now. He stopped running and looked up. No need to waste energy, no need to run after it, he told himself. Let it come to you.

The dragon was coming behind him, it swooped around and as it came down, it opened its big mouth and burst out a destructive flame shower. He anticipated it, rolled aside, pulled out his sword and felt the heat of the fire as it was burning everything in its path. It fried parts of his fur and the tip of his tale.

- Well played, dragon, he smiled sarcastically, suppressed few smaller flames that were simmering in his fur and kept his eyes on the flying beast. He tested out his arm, swung the sword around couple of times.

- Come here, he whispered and it was like the monster had heard his words. It dropped down from the sky right in front of him. The earth shook under his feet, rocks and dust flew around, he could smell its putrid breath. But still he couldn't stop smiling.

- Let's dance, big boy, he smiled, raised his sword and charged forward.

* * *

Up in the reach, all they could do was watch the heated one-on-one battle down on the ground. Irileth was ready to order his men forward but for some reason, she didn't raise her hand. The Companions had also stopped some distance away and in her heart, Sura was silently grateful that they weren't in immediate danger. But at the same time, she couldn't help but worry about the male Khajiit. He seemed to be facing an impossible enemy.

The Khajiit was incredibly quick and agile. He didn't waste any time as he charged forward. He evaded the monsters sharp teeth and jaws and plunged his sword first in the softer, more vulnerable skin under its head and only a moment later, he slashed out its other eye. The dragon roared out in pain, spread its wings and was about to take off, but the quick Khajiit climbed in its back and struck his sword deep in its back. He used his bodyweight to slide down its side and the sword carved out a gaping wound in its hide. His moved fluently. Sura realized that such reflects could not be obtained simply by training. He mastered his body and his muscles. This man had experienced these kind of situations before and he knew exactly what he was doing.

The dragon was resilient. It swung its powerful tale, it hit the Khajiit and send him flying back first to the cold, hard ground. Miraculously he was able to hold on this sword and as he slid against the ground, he reached out his other hand and used his claws to slow down and get back up. His incredibly powerful body made it look easy and before the slide was over, he was back on his feet.

- Is he still alive? Lydia whispered. - How is that possible?

- He survived Helgen, the Jarl said. - Now we know how.

The Khajiit and the dragon were watching each other. This time he didn't charge, he waited. He remained perfectly silent at his place, he knew the dragon couldn't see with its other eye. And it wasn't able to lift off the ground either, its other wing was torn and bloodied. But neither one of those wounds stopped it from bursting fire around. It extended its neck, breathed out fire in semicircle and the wall of flames now separated the Khajiit and the dragon. But because of the fire, because of the blinding smoke and the roaring flames, the huge animal wasn't able to see or hear its quick but dangerous enemy.

He jumped through the fire, where the flames were smallest. He was right in front of it. He didn't notice that his fur was on fire in many places and his armor was almost in tatters. The dragon opened its jaws but its prey was too fast and too smart. As soon as he hit the ground, he rolled down, dodged the huge talons and plunged his sword into the dragons neck and underbelly. He pressed against the sword, felt how the soft flesh gave away and as the dragon tried to move forward, its neck and stomach were sliced open. It roared loudly and J'Ziir knew it was about to crash over him.

He rolled away from it and with a loud thud the dragon collapsed to the ground. Only now he felt the pain in his body, the burns, the scratches, the wounds. Its tale had swiped him quite badly and he moaned as he took few steps away from the animal. He glanced back, the dragon was now dead, the huge pool of blood spread around and absorbed in to the ground.

Besides the flames and the wind, everything was completely quiet around him. He saw people, the Jarl's irritating Dunmer bodyguard, the warrior group on their horses. He wondered why hadn't they bothered to help. It would have been so much easier if there was someone... but there never was.

_There never is_.

He turned away from them and suddenly a blinding light pierced his eyes and his brain. He fell to his knees, it was almost too painful to bear. His body trembled and a strong power rushed through his body, an incredible force that made him almost throw up. He dug his claws to the ground and for the first time in years, he cried out in pure pain.

And then it was over. As quickly as it had began. He opened his eyes and for a moment, he only saw darkness. _The dragon was still alive!_ he thought to himself. _You fool! You shouldn't have turned your back to it. You never, ever turn your back to your enemies until you are sure they are dead. _

- Are you alright? a woman called out to him. He felt her scent and her muscles as she tried to pull him to his feet.

Slowly, he started to distinguish her features. Long, red hair, gleaming yellow eyes and green war paint spread across her face. She helped him up and as he shook his head, they were all watching him, some with interest, others with fear.

He didn't really understand their reactions and pretty soon it started to annoy him. He pushed the woman aside and turned back to the dragon. At least he wanted to get his sword back. Irileth and her men were gathered around the dragon, which was now only a skeleton. He stepped closer, touched the bare bones and couldn't really understand what had happened.

- What did you do? Irileth approached him.

- I killed it, J'Ziir shrugged his shoulders. - It seemed to me that you weren't that interested to take it on, were you?

- But you did something else, Irileth ignored his sarcastic words. - You absorbed something from it.

- Like what? J'Ziir looked at her and now he was sure that she was the one who was delusional. - It's memories, maybe? It's plans for future? Maybe I have to seek out its mate and deliver the sad news.

- You are the Dragonborn, one of the soldiers blurted out.

- The...what? he looked at the man who took few steps back as their eyes met.

- The Dragonborn, he repeated. - In the oldest tales, back from when there still were dragons in Skyrim, the Dragonborn would slay dragons and steal their power. I mean...that's what you did, isn't it? Absorbed it's power?

- I doubt it, he sneered. - And I couldn't care less about your legends.

- Try shouting, he encouraged. - That's the only way you know.

- I don't have energy to shout, he snapped, picked his sword and headed towards the city.

- But...according to the legends, only the Dragonborn can Shout without training, the soldier pestered him. - You know, like the dragons do.

- Want me to try it on you? J'Ziir asked and the soldier stepped back. He seethed his sword and continued his way towards Whiterun. Irileth ran after him and grabbed his arm.

- The Jarl needs to know what happened here, she said. - You need to go and explain things to him.

- I don't like being told what to do, he yanked his hand away. - But I believe he already knows. He and his court ladies had front row seats to this little drama. I think he had quite a spectacular view from his balcony.


	11. Chapter 11: The reluctant hero

**Thanks for reading and again, sorry for all the possible mistakes :).**

* * *

**11. The reluctant hero**

- What just happened? Lydia mumbled. - What did he do?

- He...he killed the dragon, Hrongar said. - By himself. And then...

- He's the Dragonborn, Jarl Balgruuf stated. - The legend of Skyrim, the slayer of the dragons.

- The Dragonborn? Hrongar exclaimed. - But he is a Khajiit. How can he be the legend of the Nords?

The Jarl and his brother walked back inside, still talking, still debating. Sura and Lydia stayed at the balcony and they were both quiet. They remembered the dragon they had seen in the mountains. The dragon that now lay dead in the plains of Whiterun, wasn't as menacing and big, but it wasn't small and puny either. And one man, one Khajiit, had killed it.

They saw him walk back towards the city. Sura could see, even from this far, that he was incredibly tired and exhausted. She felt sorry for him for and remembered what he had said about his family. If his family died, that explains his anger. But it was his _anger_ that gave him the extraordinary strength he used to kill the dragon.

He was almost at the main gates, when the world suddenly shook around them. A loud thunder like sound rolled down the mountains, over the plains, the rivers, the fields. It only lasted for a moment, but it was powerful enough to be heard all over Skyrim. Sura and Lydia glanced at each other.

- Could it be...? Sura said.

- The Greybeards, Lydia muttered. - Are they calling for him?

- Let's go down, Sura grabbed her hand. - I'm sure the Jarl knows.

They hurried downstairs where the Jarl was already waiting. Hrongar walked back and forth in front of the wooden doors and when they finally opened and the bruised and pattered hero stepped inside, he took a step closer and handed something to him. Sura didn't hear what he said, but it seemed to be something important, she could see it from their faces. Hrongar turned and walked back to the Jarl. For a moment, J'Ziir stood at the door, he had something in his hand. He sighed, then tucked the item in his pocket and walked forward.

- The dragon is dead, as I'm sure you know, he said to the Jarl. - So, hand over the money so we can get this over with.

- Yes, I know, the Jarl nodded. - This city owes more and more to you. But before I reward you, there is another thing I must speak with you.

J'Ziir frowned. He should have known there was something else. There always was. If he wasn't so tired, he might have had the energy to argue with the Jarl, demand his price and leave. He didn't need any more missions, any more monsters to kill. He was lucky he had survived two dragons.

- We all heard the summons, the Jarl looked at him. - What else could it mean? The Greybeards...you heard it too, didn't you?

- Stop speaking in riddles, J'Ziir said. - I don't have a clue what you are talking about.

- But you must have heard it, Lydia blurted out and the male Khajiit glared at her. She blushed and lowered her gaze. - The sound that traveled like a thunder. They called out for you, she mumbled.

- Me? J'Ziir pointed himself and sneered sarcastically. He seemed very amused by the idea. - Why would anyone call out for me?

- Because you are the Dragonborn! Hrongar exclaimed.

- This again, the Khajiit yawned. - Look, all I want is my money. And then be on my way. Is that so hard to understand?

- I understand you, the Jarl nodded. - But allow me to explain. The Greybeards are Masters of the Way of the Voice. They live in seclusion high up in the the slopes of the Throat of the World. The Dragonborn is said to be uniquely gifted in the Voice. The ability to focus your vital essence into a Thu'um, a Shout.

- Your folklore doesn't interest me...

- If you really are Dragonborn, they can teach you how to use your gift, the Jarl continued. - They Greybeards summoning the Dragonborn, this hasn't happened in centuries.

- So, what do you expect me to do? J'Ziir asked calmly but his voice was deceiving. Anger bubbled under his peaceful exterior and the more the Jarl explained, the more irritated he seemed.

- It would be wise to answer their call, the Jarl advised. - What ever happened when you killed that dragon, it revealed something in you and the Greybeards heard it.

- How ironic, isn't it? J'Ziir mocked. - Your precious Nord legend turns out to be a lowly, filthy Khajiit. A Khajiit who has no interest in your country or its problems.

- And yet, you killed the dragon, the Jarl smiled and he didn't seemed to be hurt by his words. - Even when you said you wouldn't.

- I only did it for gold, J'Ziir snapped.

- Of course you did, the Jarl still smiled. - And you have indeed earned your reward. But I still encourage you to go to High Hrotgar. You should not ignore their wishes. It is a tremendous honor.

- Just pay me, J'Ziir said and now he began to sound frustrated.

- You've done a great service to me and my city, Dragonborn, The Jarl stood up from his chair. The word "_Dragonborn_" irritated the Khajiit even more than the word "_friend_". - By my right as Jarl, I name you Thane of Whiterun. It is the greatest honor that's within my power to grant.

Everyone in the longhouse was amazed by this decision. Whiterun didn't have Thanes and J'Ziir the Khajiit was the first one. Hrongar looked at his older brother. If it was up to him, just some gold would have been sufficient. There was no need to give out any titles since this man didn't seem to want anything but money. But what his brother said next, outraged him even more.

- I assign you Lydia as a personal housecarl, and I give you this weapon from my armory to serve you as your badge of office, the Jarl handed him a massive battleaxe.

Sura looked over at her friend who was standing on other side of the room. Lydia looked shocked. She had clearly not expected this. She looked at the angry male Khajiit, who was not just taller than she but also much, much stronger. And it seemed, her Thane was just not angry but threatening as well.

- I don't need your titles, J'Ziir snarled. - I take the axe and the money, but keep your fancy names. And I certainly don't need a nuisance like her following me around.

- Yes, brother, Hrongar nodded eagerly. - How can you make such a rash decision? Think about this.

- I have made my decision, the Jarl said and turned to Lydia. - He is your Thane now. You do whatever he tells you to and you serve him the best you can. Your job is to protect him and all he owns with your life.

- Yes, my Jarl, Lydia stuttered, walked next to the Khajiit, bowed and mumbled. - My Thane, I am your sword and your shield.

J'Ziir didn't look at her, he stared at the Jarl. Then he turned around and without a word strode out the longhouse. Lydia hesitated for a moment, grabbed her gear and ran after him. Hrongar tried to say something to his daughter, maybe forbid her from following him, but she was out of his reach already.

- Why did you do that? he turned to his brother. - How can you order Lydia as his housecarl? You know she is going to marry Hadvar in few months and...

- This will be good for her, the Jarl said and stood up.

- Good for her? Hrongar couldn't believe what his brother was saying. - That man, that Khajiit has no love for the Nords. He is going to torment her and in the worst case, get her killed!

- Is she that incompetent? Jarl Balgruuf asked from his brother. - She gains experience from this and gets to serve the Dragonborn. I believe her marriage can wait until after the war.

He made very clear that the conversation was over and exited the room. Sura could clearly see Hrongar's frustration, but she wondered was there something else behind the Jarl's sudden decision. Sura knew that Lydia would welcome this duty, she would rather serve the hateful Khajiit - _the Dragonborn_ - than settle for a boring life in Solitude. But still she worried for her friend. Could those two really get along?

* * *

Lydia didn't waste time as she ran after her new Thane. She hadn't expected this, but the Jarl's decision didn't worry her too much. After all, this was the Dragonborn. The greatest man - _a legend_ - that roamed the lands of Skyrim ever since Tiber Septim himself. Even Ulfric Stormcloack, who claimed to be the next High King of Skyrim, wasn't as high as this man.

Her Thane was already at the bottom of the long stone stairs and she had to speed up to catch up with him.

- My Thane! she yelled. - My Thane!

She was coming down at high speed and when he suddenly stopped and turned around, she almost crashed into him. In the last possible moment, she pulled her shield in front of her and somehow avoided the collision.

- Don't call me that! J'Ziir grit his teeth. - And go back where you came from. I have no need for you.

- I'm sworn to your service, Lydia repeated. - I'm your swords and your...

- I heard that already, J'Ziir interrupted him. - So, you are nothing but a slave?

- A slave? Lydia was shocked. - No, I'm your housecarl!

- You are sworn to my service, the Khajiit circled her. His hands were crossed and his eyes were criticizing. - I don't need to pay you, you follow me around, you do whatever I tell you. And one more thing, he stopped in front of her and leaned a little closer. - You s_atisfy_ my every need, isn't that right?

She stepped back and blushed. Being a housecarl didn't include...physical contact. And personal relations were banned during her service time. All she needed to do was concentrate on her Thane and his safety. But what if her Thane demanded this...intimacy from her? Could she then refuse?

- Tell me, J'Ziir sneered. - How is that any different from a being my slave?

She didn't reply, he sighed and rolled his eyes. - So, you can't answer? Because there is no difference, is there?

- I'm your...housecarl, she mumbled. - A slave...doesn't wish to protect her master. But a housecarl does. A slave wants freedom, a housecarl only wishes to serve.

- Aren't you ashamed? J'Ziir asked. - To serve me?

- What do you mean, my Thane? she raised her eyes. - Of course not! You are the Dragonborn! Not everyone has the chance to serve the Dragonborn...

- Stop doing that! he shouted. - Using that name...

- What should I call you then, my Thane? she inquired. - If I can't call you a Thane, then Dragonb...

- I don't care about that crap, he waved his hand. - Your legends, your heroes. Keep them to yourself. But you are a Nord woman and serving a Khajiit must get your blood boiling.

- Why would it? Lydia asked. - I don't hate the Khajiits. My best friend is a Khajiit. She is one the best people I know. And now as the Dragonb...I mean...my Tha...you are also a Khajiit, I think it's an honor.

- An honor? J'Ziir said. - You think that dying for someone else is honorable? Don't you have any self-respect? Don't you want to live your own life?

- This is my life now, Lydia answered. - To serve and to protect you.

He looked at her suspiciously and took a few steps back. He pulled out his sword and threw it aside. He also took of his tattered armor, what was left of it. He stood in front of her only wearing his loin cloth. Lydia blushed even more and moved her eyes away.

- You wish to protect me? he questioned her. - Then attack me!

- What? Lydia stuttered. - But...you are...unarmed, my Thane! And without armor! I could seriously injure you.

- Are you disobeying my orders? he asked and looked at her indifferently. - Didn't you just say yourself that you were...what was it? Hmm...sworn to my service? _To do whatever I tell you to_!

- It's not my duty to hurt you! she tried to reason with him.

- Attack me! he ordered again. - If you don't, I might just attack you myself. Tell me, if your Thane attacks you, do you defend yourself or let him kill you? Is dying in his hands part of your duty?

She gripped her sword and charged at him. For a moment, she remembered the bandit who's head she'd cut off. She only hoped this battle wouldn't end the same way. To kill the Dragonborn...

He was quick and dodged her sword easily. For a moment they danced around the Wind District, she waved her sword around and he evaded or blocked her every try. They didn't notice that people started to gather around. Heimskr had shut his mouth long ago, the guards stopped their patrolling and the people just stared at their deadly dance.

She was getting tired, her breath quickened and her heart began to bound against her chest. Now she tried her best, she wasn't even thinking of taking it easy, all she wanted was to get one clear hit at him. Just to prove her own skills. But he was too fast and he tempted her, laughed at her and mocked her. Using her last strength, she charged ahead and the tip of her sword brushed his long ears as he crouched. She didn't see him coming from her right side, but he squeezed the sword out of her hand and her wrist was hurting when he forced her to the ground. She dropped her shield and felt his sharp claws against her skin.

- So, he hissed to her. - This is the kind of protection you are offering. If there had been more enemies, I would have died long ago. How many people have you killed? Or were they all just training dolls?

- Th...three, my Thane, Lydia sniffed. - I have killed three people.

- Go back where you came from, he released her hand and stood up. - I have enough problems without you.

He picked up his sword and tattered armor, felt the weariness in his body, pushed the people aside and walked down the stone stairs. Lydia jumped to her feet, grabbed her sword and shield and looked around.

- Thane, she yelled but her voice was weak and fearful. - I'm your...sword and...your...shield...

* * *

He walked to the Bannered Mare and was about the rent the same room he had taken before. As he took out his coin purse, the owner smiled and shook her head.

- No need to pay, she said. - You saved our city. Every time you wish to stay here, its free from now on. Boys! she yelled. - Get some water upstairs!

J'Ziir was a little confused - the word "_free_" didn't belong in his vocabulary. But he didn't want to argue either, he was way too tired for that. He followed the men as they carried the bathtub upstairs and filled it with water. The owner brought some food, smiled and left.

He tossed his broken armor to the bed and saw the orange leather pouch in one of the pockets. He had almost forgotten that. He reached out, opened the pouch and poured its contents in his palm. The golden pendant gleamed in his hand.

He removed his loin cloth, sat down in the warm water and leaned his head against his hand. The necklace was inside his fist and again he felt utter relief that it was returned to him. There seemed to be at least one good Nord in this country. The Jarl's brother had given the pouch to him and explained that Hadvar had sent it to him. He was on his way to Solitude. They might never see each other again. But the necklace seemed to be important and the Imperial soldier only felt it was right to give it back to him.

He remembered when it was taken from him. While he was unconscious in the wagon, among the other prisoners. His clothes, his weapons, his jewelry. They were all stripped from him.

He slipped the necklace over his head and as soon as the crescent moon touched his skin, the pain from his body was erased and peace surrounded him. At that moment, even his anger and hate momentarily subsided. He could almost hear his father's voice as he sang. And then his mother's laughter echoed through his head.

But the bad memories always followed the happy moments. And as he lived through that sunny autumn day again and again, the peace disappeared and the hatred once again took over. He opened his eyes and looked at the war axe that was leaning against the bed frame. Would that be enough? he thought. One clean hit and the man's head would roll on the floor. And what would happen after that...well, that just didn't matter anymore.


	12. Chapter 12: The shadow of a little girl

**A bit shorther chapter. But thanks again for reading and sorry for all the possible mistakes :).**

* * *

**12. The shadow of a little girl**

In the following days Sura didn't see Lydia very often. And when they did meet, Lydia was always in a hurry. Most of the time she was searching for her Thane. Somehow J'Ziir had managed to lose her again. But she was quite tenacious and despite his efforts to avoid her, she somehow always found him again.

Hrongar was still incredibly annoyed by the Jarl's decision and he used every change he got trying to get his brother to change his mind. Hrongar also tried to question his daughter and find out what she thought about her new position as a housecarl. Lydia remained silent, she never said anything about her Thane or the way the Khajiit treated her. So Hrongar was unarmed. But he kept his eyes on his daughter and on her new Thane. And he wasn't the only one.

Irileth was also very disturbed by the Jarl's decision. She seemed to think that Whiterun didn't need another troublesome Khajiit. Sura wondered had she actually ever caused troubles in Whiterun, she always tried to do what she was told and she never wanted to cause problems. But the situation seemed to bother Irileth and whenever she saw J'Ziir - he rarely came to Dragonsreach - she was always on her toes.

Sura remembered that J'Ziir was planning to go to Windhelm. But day after day he remained in Whiterun. Lydia slept in the guards barracks, she had her own bed there while J'Ziir remained in Bannered Mare. Sura had heard that Hulda didn't require any money from him, since he was the "_savior of the city_" and also a Thane.

And after a while life in Whiterun normalized and J'Ziir was suddenly considered a permanent resident in the city. No one wondered why he was in Whiterun, people knew who he was and many were thankful to him. One particular person especially. Carlotta's daughter, Mila. She seemed ecstatic whenever he was at the Market. And in her company, his grumpy exterior temporarily faded away. He joked with her, he laughed with her and sometimes - very rarely - he played hide and seek with her. He always knew where she was, his hearing and eyesight were superior compared to the Nords. But he always pretended he didn't know. And ultimately, she ran out from her hiding place giggling and snickering.

It was one of those days when Sura and Lydia briefly met in the Market. J'Ziir was playing around with Mila and Lydia joined Sura as she came down from the Wind District. Sura actually had some free time and she was on her way to Jorrvaskr but decided to stop by in the Market. She met Tilma at the Wind District and the old woman was on her way to get some vegetables from Carlotta. Sura assured her that she would get what they needed, she was on her way to the Market and it was no problem to drop the supplies to Jorrvaskr on her way back. She also wanted to return the book she had borrowed from Vilkas. She had studied quite hard, she didn't wish to disappoint him and her excellent memory had not let her down. When she actually started to write down words, Farengar had helped her but soon enough he noticed that his advice was not necessary. So, she could write a little now. Not much, but she was willing to learn more.

Lydia waved her hand when she saw her. Sura stopped by at Carlotta's stand, gave her the list that Tilma had written and smiled to Lydia. Then they both looked at Mila and J'Ziir.

- He looks like a different person, Sura said. - How can he be so patient with Mila and be so intolerable with other people?

- I believe that something bad has happened to him, Lydia looked at her. - In his past. Something he cannot forget or forgive. Maybe he lost someone important.

Sura nodded. She did remember his reaction when she had mentioned his possible family. "_If it wasn't for the Nords, they would be safe and happy and alive!_" So clearly he had lost his family. His wife and his children, maybe.

- So, how are you doing? Sura asked Lydia. - Has it been difficult?

- Don't ask, Lydia shook her head. - He is impossible. And he has this weird image in his head that I hate and loathe him. That he is somehow below me because of his race. Sometimes he just spits out angry words at me. But so far...I have been able to ignore them. When you hear it a lot, it sort of loses its meaning.

- How come he is still in Whiterun? Sura wondered and thanked and paid to Carlotta when she handed her the groceries. - Wasn't he heading to Windhelm? Or to High Hrotgar to meet the Greybeards?

- He doesn't really care about being the Dragonborn, Lydia sighed. - I keep telling him that we should go, the Greybeards are important people. But he ignores me completely. He says, he is not interested to play the part of a big hero. And he doesn't care about the people of Skyrim.

- Well, there is one person he seems to care about, Sura smiled when she heard Mila's laughter.

- I'm glad that he is the Thane of our city, Carlotta said and looked at her daughter and the Khajiit. - He even convinced Mikael to leave me alone. J'Ziir is extremely scary when he wants to be. Let me tell you - if he was interested in me, I might consider it.

- What? Sura was amazed. - You'd be actually willing to marry him?

- To be the wife of the Dragonborn, Carlotta laughed. - What's the downside?

Sura looked at J'Ziir and noticed that when he wasn't angry or hateful or moody, he actually looked a lot more amiable. And now that he was also clean, his black fur was thick and shiny. The man she had seen arrive some time ago in Whiterun, wasn't the same man that she saw here today.

- What about you, Lydia? Carlotta asked. - You are his housecarl. Don't you feel tempted to try?

- Like you just said, I'm his housecarl, Lydia rolled her eyes. - And he hates me. So, there's no need to even go there.

They looked at the girl and the Khajiit for a while and then Sura said her goodbyes to Carlotta and Lydia. She took the vegetables and her book and headed towards Jorrvaskr.

It was eerily empty again. Only Tilma gathered some dishes from the huge tables and Sura gave her the vegetables and the rest of the money. She smiled, brushed her cheek and before she went on with her business, Sura asked her about the Companions. To her mild disappointment Tilma told her that the Companions were out on a mission but she couldn't say exactly where they were and when they would return.

Sura looked at the book in her hands and wondered could she take it to downstairs, to his room. She could leave it to his table and be done with it. So she headed towards the stairs and opened the door in to an empty hallway. It was quiet and her steps echoed from the stone floor as she moved on. She walked behind his door, knocked and tried the handle. Surprisingly the door was locked. She considered leaving the book on a small drawer which was almost next to the door but maybe he wouldn't notice it. Why are you making such a big deal out of this? she asked herself. It's only a book. I'm sure he won't lose his mind if he doesn't find it immediately when he comes back.

She packed away from the door but wanted to linger here for a little while longer. She sat down to a nearby table and started to browse through the book. She knew the letters by heart and remembered most of words and their meaning. There was a quill, an inkwell and some paper on the table and without thinking too much, she grabbed them and started to write. Complete, clear sentences were out of her reach but she tried her hardest and thought what she wanted to say.

She was so immersed in her exercise that she didn't notice an older man who was watched her from the other side of the hallway. His other eye was blind but he didn't need it to see clearly. He remembered the little Khajiit girl extremely well. And whenever the girl stopped by at Jorrvaskr, he was pleased to see her.

There was something in her that was exceptional. Maybe that was one of the reasons he had protected her all those years ago. He had felt her little fingers on his thick, rough fur, she hadn't been afraid of him. _Not afraid of him._ But afraid of something else. She kept meowing on a small, weak voice, she looked straight ahead but didn't appear to see anything. Her blue eyes were blind, she only saw pain and sadness.

And underneath his beast form, he had felt a warm sensation, need to keep her safe. And he had done that, he had walked next to her, guided her gently towards the closest city and made sure that other animals kept their distance. And when the Jarl's wagon came along, he had drawn back to shadows of the forest and watched what would happen. Would they abandon the little girl or take her with them?

Hrongar's wife had been alive and both she and little Lydia wanted badly to take the girl along. Neither of them thought it was right to leave her on the side of the road. The Jarl agreed and he had been pleased to see that she was safe. He knew that she didn't remember anything about their meeting or anything about the events that had led her to that situation.

He didn't know what had happened, how Sura had ended up in that empty, dark road, all alone, shocked and lost. But what he did know was that she was important. Like the male Khajiit that had come to Whiterun just a little while ago. And they were somehow connected. When the girl stood up, Kodlak Whitemane backed away to his room. He had lots of thinking to do.

Sura looked at the note she had written. She had used short sentences and she was sure most of the words were wrong and barely understandable but she hoped Vilkas would be able to read it anyway.

She folded the note between the pages, walked back to his door and placed the book on the floor. She resisted the urge to take the note back and rip it to pieces. _Just walk away_! she told herself, took few steps back and turned around. She had never done anything this courageous. She had always just waited and waited and hoped that things would somehow work themselves out. But now - she had actually done something. She had actually made a move.

She had taken a step closer to the one man her heart desired.


End file.
